Health: Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine... - FML

By radiationkillz - 21/03/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 280

You deserved it 7 289

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Same thing different taste

By ithinkimturningjapanese - 06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Apo

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 800

You deserved it 2 135

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 3 321

Dingdong

By SF49 - 16/01/2013 18:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 758

By Heavy D - 06/09/2012 13:45 - United States

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 2 019

Nuclear family

By Mudturtle - 19/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 136

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 5 234

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 33 484

By StormSeason - 29/10/2012 12:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 255

You OK?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 114

Next

Top comments

delyter 0

Monday 21 March 2011 12:24

no offense but ur gf may be a retard

jmrtheman 3

Monday 21 March 2011 12:26

I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.

Comments

birdfreak 24

Thursday 14 April 2011 5:32

ok look this is really pissing me off people on here are trashing MY homestate the state where I was born and raised when actually TX is actually really smart so everyone needs to shut up and stop joking bout it

teasdale18 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 2:07

thank you were not dumb just she might have had a moment

kristledaigle 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 0:18

rather safe than sorry.

glitchedgamer 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 17:00

I'm sorry you live in Texas.

escape269 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 8:16

doesnt matter if her food/drink is contaminated...

mrlopez 13

Saturday 20 August 2011 12:45

at least she cares about ya. Here honey, take this gas mask...

SmellyNachos 0

Friday 9 September 2011 8:08

Well thats what you get for being married to a dumbass American

PedoPancakes 7

Friday 20 January 2012 1:24

Hey, you can never be to careful

jack3e3 4

Friday 30 March 2012 4:15

stupidity: be careful, it's contagious

madib1998 2

Saturday 6 October 2012 14:09

Duhh, it's cause shes from Texas.

el11 1

Wednesday 17 October 2012 8:46

She is cray!!

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The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 307

You deserved it 1 979

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 44 806

The Top

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 681

Today, I managed to pay my rent in full for once. My bank called me on suspicion of fraud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 445

You deserved it 827

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 075

You deserved it 2 082

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 471

You deserved it 2 421

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 158

You deserved it 5 009

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 1 522