Sex and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never...

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 080

You deserved it 10 550

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 4 017

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 1 240

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 221

You deserved it 5 969

By Magnus_the_Red - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 620

You deserved it 3 985

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

By anonymous - 20/02/2010 01:47 - Ireland

Today, while in bed with my game-obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 472

You deserved it 6 759

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 20 916

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 124

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 218

Murphy_21 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

In my experience its the adorable ones that make the best lovers. She's missing out.

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:01

She cheating on you.

Comments

Aish_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 7:51

Wow what a lame excuse...

Jimboom 11

Friday 27 March 2009 10:23

Smack her around the back of the head. She if she finds you adorable then.

dizz0rder 0

Friday 27 March 2009 12:08

alternative 1: dump the bitch alternative 2: seduce her, fck her in any and all available holes, finish with a good facial and then laugh at her and tell her to gtfo :D cant believe dumb bitches like that, dont even have the balls to say what they mean, but would like to continue sucking your money and time and company. if you stay with her its your fault :)

MJC84 0

Friday 27 March 2009 12:47

Sucker punch her in the gut, DDT her into a coffee table and then never call her again.

leye 0

Friday 27 March 2009 14:37

maybe you should take that as a compliment?

thedragonsword 0

Friday 27 March 2009 14:44

*cringe* sad to say i have been there. as much as i hate to say it, give up hope on her, she will just break your heart

Fuck_your_life37 0

Friday 27 March 2009 15:03

I had a girl tell me something like that before. After we broke up I found out she had an STD. Thank god she wanted to "take things slow because she really cared about me"

CPTobvious_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 15:05

HA... YOU HAVE ENTERED "GAY FRIEND" STATUS. Road to no where involves you to keep shellin out the cash for her steps to rectify the situation 1a) dump her 2a) bang her best friend -or- 1b) accept the fact that you are the gay friend and her little bitch until she find someone she wants to sleep with

QDogs 0

Friday 27 March 2009 15:07

Dude if I were you I would go out and sleep with someone she knows. Preferrably one of her "friends" that she hangs out with but loves to talk shit about

Drumbassvocals 0

Friday 27 March 2009 15:24

If i were you man i would put a mask on in bed just kidding but dude really. you need to find a way of not making her thin you are too adorable... talk dirty to her man and see what happens