Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could... - FML

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 776

You deserved it 6 578

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 17:57 - Norway - Haugesund

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 533

You deserved it 9 054

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 1 099

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 3 710

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 117 395

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 616

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 535

You deserved it 39 025

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 573

You deserved it 49 433

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 832

You deserved it 3 985

Good girl

By StarvedForAffection - 13/01/2021 17:01 - United States - Midlothian

Spicy

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 271

Next

Top comments

sugarshane007 20

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:11

Wow!! Sleep on your back buddy!

Mordakai420 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:12

Run bro, run! The strap-ons! The horror!

Comments

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Saturday 26 January 2013 3:53

Just let her know turnaround is fair play

AXZ_is_hawt 5

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:02

Sounds like something I would say to troll my boyfriend. Preferably in public so he couldn't freak out. :)

me1224 12

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:13

LOL

dwc2134 5

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:42

Hell, roll with it. You might enjoy it, doesn't make you homosexual or void your masculinity or any bullshit like that*. *I'm not saying gays can't be masculine or anything like that, I'm just trying to dispel the nonsense reservations a lot of straight guys have on ass-play.

shouldwork 3

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:45

I don't know, I'd find that kind of enticing

ForeverFemme 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:53

Did u ever think she could of just wanted to 'spank' u silly?? don't get me wrong, either or is more than a good time..

xtcolin 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:53

His reply to change the subject was to compliment her on having a cute Adam's apple.

HWpopster 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:55

That's when you run

wideload96 1

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:03

Would that be called breaking and entering?

meagann01 4

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:12

Such a romantic girlfriend you have there my friend.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 60

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 979

The Top

Today, I asked my friend to come sit next to me in class. I pulled out the chair next to me. Coincidentally, she started to sit at that same moment. Now both she and my teacher are convinced I did it on purpose, and they want to have a talk with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 474

You deserved it 2 433

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 005

You deserved it 7 446

Today, I'm self isolating with a mother who hogs the remote but doesn't know how to use it, and is so short-sighted she can barely see the TV. Every five minutes, I hear, "What have I done now?", "How have I got onto this then?" and she won't let me help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 191

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 130

You deserved it 3 873

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 065

You deserved it 1 851

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 825

You deserved it 7 148