Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could... - FML

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 776

You deserved it 6 578

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 17:57 - Norway - Haugesund

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 533

You deserved it 9 054

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 1 099

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 3 710

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 117 395

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 616

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 535

You deserved it 39 025

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 573

You deserved it 49 433

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 832

You deserved it 3 985

Good girl

By StarvedForAffection - 13/01/2021 17:01 - United States - Midlothian

Spicy

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 271

Next

Top comments

sugarshane007 20

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:11

Wow!! Sleep on your back buddy!

Mordakai420 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:12

Run bro, run! The strap-ons! The horror!

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:21

Does she have a Rape Dungeon? That you know of? Dunh, dunh, dunh!!!!

klovemachine 24

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:27

Reference to previous FML = awesome :D

katie72 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 13:51

Perdix is like the king of fml

bioss89 16

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:21

Soon OP's gf will whisper in his ear: Turn over, let me try something new.... And then a GIANT ***** appears :D

S182 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:10

Giant ***** uses Sodomy!!! It's not very effective...

ydi_4_suking 20

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:49

A giant ***** would be very effective.

Roguedork19 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 6:16

Saints Row III style lol

Attica 20

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:45

"It's super effective!"

spikekutter 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:22

i wouldnt know..

cgchamp89 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:03

I think your urgent response to the matter, claiming your "straightness", makes you sound gay. Don't get me wrong though, it's alright to be gay. But let's be honest...

DustyStorm 16

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:17

*snicker*

jem970 19

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:24

One of the major pleasure zones on a man is in the anal area. Maybe you will like it. But if you are uncomfortable with it let her know. Maybe she was kidding with you though...

SoSickWithIt 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:09

Is that why it feels good when I pass a major BM? ********, pissing, and coming. My 3 favorite things. I only wish I could enjoy them all at once.

XxDevilxXGt 26

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:40

Sounds good in writing. But there's the problem of the poo that's also hibernating in your ass, waiting to exit out of the "exit only" door. Overall, it's disgusting and shouldn't be done unless maybe one prepares ahead of time by not eating and cleaning.

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:35

DUN DUN DUN

Synapsky 10

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:43

Does she work at Taco bell? She thinks outside the buns... AND STUFFS THEM WITH WHIMSICAL MYSTERY MEAT

_Burnett89 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:43

Don't drop the soap!

mansen 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:43

Start playing One Direction to give her the hint?

alphatoomega 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:50

So he'll have his ears hurt as well as his anus?

SonicRainboom 3

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:47

Lucky bastard

birdierising 16

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:48

Well...you could always try it. It can definitely be fun!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 3 250

Today, during a conversation with my in-laws, I opened up about my insecurities concerning my looks. My mother-in-law responded, "But you're not beautiful." She then repeated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 095

You deserved it 495

Today, I caught my 10 year-old in the closet, naked, on his hands and knees, eating cat food straight from the bag. He'd torn a hole in the side of the bag, cat food was everywhere. We have plenty of food in the house, but he wants to be a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 914

You deserved it 525

Today, my mother is still insisting it must have been my fault that my husband beat me into a coma for 5 weeks, because he’s such a "nice boy from a good family" with a really successful career, so it must have been me who provoked him into it. She keeps trying to get us back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 203

You deserved it 113

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 443

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 310

You deserved it 2 745