Health: Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray...

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By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 468

You deserved it 3 567

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Same thing different taste

By Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 091

You deserved it 7 123

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 334

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 338

You deserved it 6 049

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 28 648

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 596

You deserved it 6 499

Boo!

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 752

You deserved it 3 582

By Anonymous - 18/11/2014 00:56 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 811

You deserved it 35 851

By scars - 16/12/2014 15:01 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 3 666

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 951

You deserved it 7 330

By Ramis182 - 16/12/2013 08:52 - United States - Auburn

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 994

You deserved it 10 216

TryToBeKind 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:09

Your girlfriend is either a b**ch, or she is very thoughtless. I would keep this over her head for a long time

swagga0n1oo 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:13

maybe she is giving you a sign that she wants her "pussy" wet lol!

Comments

vaebouria 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:00

shut up snikerdoodle you dicknose

thegame_pr 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:03

you should have hold it stronger

braeleigh_king 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:11

awh. I hope the kitty didn't get wet!

scarsnstars45 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:22

next time you have sex you should see how funny it is to fake an ****** inside her

OGReaper 2

Friday 5 February 2010 5:23

Good call lol.

fudrick 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 21:10

Pitbulls are too sweet to attack a person? Tell that to the parents of the thirty or so children killed by pitbulls last year.

OGReaper 2

Thursday 4 February 2010 21:44

how could you not see this coming. you said needless to say which implies you knew what would happen if the cat was exposed to water. your gf isnt a ninja. therefore you should have been able to avoid it. ydi moron .

Crittz 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 21:48

"Covered head to toe in cat scratches" ? ...You were naked during all this?

oopsohwell 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 22:04

fyl...dont listen to the assholes that are questioning you. that sux. cats dont like water is your gf an idiot? what a dumb bitch. poor you and poor kitty.