Love and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised...

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 865

You deserved it 19 644

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 18 672

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 13:00

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 139

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 404

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 736

You deserved it 5 944

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 612

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 137

You deserved it 5 570

Cyker 6

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Well that's a mouthful.

sohigh10 34

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Hell of a first experience:|

Comments

A_Net_70 7

Tuesday 23 June 2015 4:54

Eeeeeeewwwwwweeee you deserved it!

lonelysquid93 6

Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:10

I don't know about the surprise spitting in his mouth, but me for one, I don't mind when my woman goes down on me and doesn't swallow but instead kisses me and we share, yes snowballing! I don't mind my own taste and she loves it when I go down on her after sex then kiss her. We both love the way each other and ourselves taste.

asm9296 3

Tuesday 23 June 2015 20:46

Dude! You never kiss them after you finish.

KingLewisII 34

Wednesday 24 June 2015 3:35

"she tried to kid me after head I had to kick her out the bed" words to live by

Fetuskicker666 15

Wednesday 24 June 2015 5:57

You got Snowballed man.

Camerone453 14

Wednesday 24 June 2015 7:06

So now you know how girls feel when their bf wants them to swallow. It's ******* disgusting.

Bananaman2001 6

Thursday 25 June 2015 4:43

at least you got your dick sucked lol

CTPope74 13

Friday 26 June 2015 1:43

It isn't a debate on how the girl feels going down or how the guy feels going down. If a guy wants to go down on a girl because she wants it, then he loves her. If she is a squirter, and he continues, then he really loves her. If a guy wants a girl to go down on him, she loves him. If she swallows, she really loves him. It is not about if it is gross, it is about intimacy and what you are willing to do to show your love sexually. On a funny note, If you meet someone you are attracted too, ask if they spit, swallow, gargle or duck. If you are ok with their answer then they are dateable.