Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me...

By VahnSeiro - 20/02/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 2 738

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Same thing different taste

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 458

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 801

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 677

You deserved it 4 572

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 901

You deserved it 2 850

Nope

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 159

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 4 612

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 187

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 345

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 681

You deserved it 13 291

Astraea 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 12:23

definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!

mponce12 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 12:21

what a dirty little bitch

Comments

Apotheosis5267 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 20:16

That sucks :/ Give her aids.

mR_StAtiiC 0

Monday 2 August 2010 9:31

Ydi for having a slit as a girlfriend. :)

JessAmmyy_ 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 9:50

nice girlfriendd you got theree.

JessAmmyy_ 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 9:53

64 who are you stephen hawkingg?

silinawashere 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 16:30

what's anal sex?

richard92105 0

Friday 26 November 2010 1:50

that sucks, somebody popped her butt cherry for you

zebrapattern 6

Monday 6 December 2010 16:42

maybe she got raped

obrien813 6

Sunday 26 June 2011 14:59

uhh... can i get her number?

eatpussy 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 22:43

Tell her how good oral sex feels with her sister.

eatpussy 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 22:43

Tell her how good oral sex feels with her sister.

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Cute Work Christmas Am I overreacting? Cats Holidays Shopping Awkward Gifts Relatable Hair Friends Health Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Neighbours Cops Sex Intimacy Smells Love Painful First Dates Music Grieving

The Top

Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 82

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 277

You deserved it 7 541

The Top

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 633

You deserved it 28 760

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 717

You deserved it 38 143

Today, we got the news that my dad will be dying of Covid. My mom, former nurse, still insist it's a hoax and that the holistic route will cure him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 130

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show 'House, M.D.' I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 10 157

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 1 718

Today, my wife is mad because she forgot our anniversary. Not me, her. She thought it was today and got mad at me for having nothing planned. It’s tomorrow, and I do have stuff planned for us. So she’s mad at me because she got it wrong and felt like an idiot, which is somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 83