Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me...

By VahnSeiro - 20/02/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 514

You deserved it 2 740

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Same thing different taste

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 458

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 3 068

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 628

You deserved it 4 801

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 678

You deserved it 4 572

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 903

You deserved it 2 850

Nope

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 159

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 350

You deserved it 4 612

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 187

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 682

You deserved it 13 293

Astraea 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 12:23

definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!

mponce12 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 12:21

what a dirty little bitch

Comments

rabblegabble 0

Monday 19 September 2011 23:45

I'm sorry:( cheaters are a holes!! I would dump her for a better girl

ZielZone 4

Wednesday 21 September 2011 18:52

Grudge **** her in the ass, then dump her

audriannaC 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:49

gawd what a ***** plus thought anal was for dirty ass pornstars. . .

Sayorian 1

Saturday 10 December 2011 10:12

Should just tell her how good it feels to leave her for someone else.

naedangerdavey 0

Friday 23 December 2011 21:16

Sore one mate, just start banging *****.

skorka 5

Monday 14 May 2012 2:53

Well, it does

conor12 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 22:42

Awh... Poor guy im sorry man:(

B5B0N35 18

Saturday 3 November 2012 19:10

I feel sorry for u man dump that bitch with a slap!

TheChelseaSays 34

Tuesday 19 March 2013 6:22

Wow....looks like you guys have some underlying issues to resolve.

ajaj26 12

Saturday 6 July 2013 13:48

Don't dump her before a nice hard assfuck!

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 788

You deserved it 22 730

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 369

You deserved it 4 244

The Top

Today, I received a Christmas card from my husband’s parents and found for the 7th straight year I wasn’t included on the card. Instead they included a picture of my husband’s ex-girlfriend holding my baby. I’ve already received messages asking if he’s back together with her. No. No he’s not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 191

Today, my car broke down in traffic. It's okay though, everyone honked in support while I moved my vehicle from the busy intersection. Only the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 643

You deserved it 1 025

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 418

You deserved it 3 743

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 427

Today, my husband sent me a dick pic, then sent a follow up text saying, “Sorry, not meant for you, delete pls”, followed by, “Ignore that, obviously it was meant for you. Love you.” If he’s sending pics to other women, I’m gonna spread his cheeks and jam every golf ball he owns up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 137

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 962

You deserved it 2 206