Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2012 19:17 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 6 394

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Same thing different taste

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 442

You deserved it 8 033

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 569

You deserved it 32 066

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:49

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 3 571

By Photagrapher - 18/08/2010 04:09 - France

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 615

You deserved it 17 783

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 457

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 148

You deserved it 1 277

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 466

You deserved it 9 862

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 692

You deserved it 17 084

By HotACE - 22/04/2011 05:08

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 973

You deserved it 22 733

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 617

You deserved it 7 746

GrooveTurtle 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 0:17

... -face palm-

zombicidal 11

Wednesday 22 February 2012 0:19

flaccid sex? the ****?

Comments

RoboCop1 3

Wednesday 22 February 2012 15:48

Wayyyy to young dude

picturescrazy 24

Wednesday 22 February 2012 15:54

Is that even possible to penetrate when it's flaccid? xD

loganmarquez 3

Wednesday 22 February 2012 16:19

Does your girlfriend know how sex works...?

mOrGiE76 2

Wednesday 22 February 2012 16:23

Start with a lot of foreplay and then use lots of lube!!! My bf was scared of hurting me and I didn't care so thats what he did...

aigroeg 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 16:48

No offence,honest.But is your girl really stupid?

DJ_G11_SMITH 8

Wednesday 22 February 2012 17:29

It's impossible to have sex while flaccid.

discojaxx 7

Wednesday 22 February 2012 18:13

I can't even find the words to properly insult your girlfriend.

SoultheWolf 19

Wednesday 22 February 2012 18:16

Ok, I hae to say that I am shocked that my comment, #32 had so many negative votes. Are you guys really that stupid or shallow that if someone puts out real information out there, especially seomthing that can help him try and communicate the truth with his gf you automatically have to vote it down? Just but voting it away does not change the fact that it is true. I'm probably guessing that it was put down by women (most likely stupid teens) who don't stop and think about it. I'm not a guy, I'm not telling him he has to go ahve sex, I'm giving him advice to tell HIS girlfriend who oviously is having the wrong idea about sex here. Grow up people. -.-

totallydonteven 5

Wednesday 22 February 2012 18:29

Except half of your information (particularly about the hymen) was grievously wrong and the other half was a huge generalization that does not apply to all women. Oh. And the other reason I thumbed you down? Your spelling and grammar are atrocious.