Love: Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 3 775

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 05:03 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 812

You deserved it 2 569

By waste of effort - 15/05/2012 20:56 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 196

You deserved it 3 746

By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 673

You deserved it 4 521

By ihatemylife - 20/08/2009 17:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 616

You deserved it 4 449

By markderanjer - 04/11/2012 00:37 - United Kingdom - Ealing

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 125

You deserved it 3 424

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 20:08 - United States

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 3 485

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 13:34

Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 621

You deserved it 2 671

By fianceeless - 21/01/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 627

You deserved it 3 933

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 3 737

ashl123 19

Monday 30 January 2012 1:29

You should really date smarter people

SoNotForYou 5

Monday 30 January 2012 1:29

Dump her... Really what's the point if she won't talk to you?

Comments

BestestMama 6

Monday 30 January 2012 6:33

Cos she's stupid.

hateevryone 14

Monday 30 January 2012 6:41

just dump her. she's stupid

kill_me_now7 2

Monday 30 January 2012 6:47

Meh... Who cares the reason at this point shes too dumb to ask for it

islander03 5

Monday 30 January 2012 7:03

The astrologist was right!!! Bad Omen #1 = the dump. Then the crying, then the crazy ex girlfriend revenge ... Brace yourself

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Monday 30 January 2012 7:18

How about kickin the astro-asshole-who's-hitting-on-your-girl's ass!! Then party for a couple of weeks!

MyloXylotoGirl 0

Monday 30 January 2012 7:25

Haha dump her >.

WorldsGhost 2

Monday 30 January 2012 7:26

Dump her, and kick his ass. Sounds like he's trying to steal her.

dansco 24

Monday 30 January 2012 7:28

Dump her now before that idiot tells her you name is connected to the devil or some shit!

joee182 3

Monday 30 January 2012 7:47

hes trying to hit that thats why he said that bs

faaackmylife 5

Monday 30 January 2012 7:59

dump her, if she cares more about what her friend says than you, she's not worth it.

Keywords

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Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 741

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 9 026

Today, after an argument a month ago, my husband has refused to do any cooking since. After a month without his food, I’ve realised at this point in our marriage his cooking is literally the only thing about him I like anymore. I think I want a divorce. Over food. What an end to a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 512

Today, I somehow have both crippling depression and a fear of death. Please end me, but don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 122

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 917

You deserved it 31 008

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 566

You deserved it 3 877

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 4 277

Same thing different taste

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