Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She...

By Tyler Smith - 03/11/2011 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 402

You deserved it 5 726

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Same thing different taste

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 4 540

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 3 865

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 1 670

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 707

You deserved it 2 203

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 872

You deserved it 5 659

It's a gas gas gas

By wtf?? - 17/01/2022 02:02

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 510

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 01:09 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 740

You deserved it 3 768

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 981

You deserved it 5 274

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 935

You deserved it 37 311

Miss_Michaela 10

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:15

At least it wasn't a huge, junk-rattling fart.

icic6772 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:13

Ghost fart!!!

Comments

artprincess 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 1:20

boooh *poof*

alexm501 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 1:58

I laughed so hard at this

Harlequin073 6

Saturday 5 November 2011 19:22

Well played sir

Cram_Burglar 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 15:11

Poooooooooooooooo......t

thephilosopher 3

Monday 7 November 2011 4:32

This reminds me of that girl from 2 and a half Men

jamwithme 0

Monday 7 November 2011 20:11

Stop farting. Gross.

winterforever97 30

Saturday 24 December 2011 23:50

Haha, your farts are spooky! :P

Carlie_McCartney 1

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:22

This makes me think of the SNL sketch with Hugh Laurie...every time I read this FML, all I can hear is, "Julian"!

Thekbking 11

Sunday 17 August 2014 4:20

wow....your girl brings a new definition to stupid

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 101

You deserved it 5 916

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 926

You deserved it 4 073

The Top

Follow your dreams, kids!

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 101

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 052

You deserved it 3 051

Today, I'm finally visiting my long-distance boyfriend in his home country. He has a vomit-inducing migraine, and the traditional food he fed me triggered the worst kidney attack I've had in years. We're both lying on the couch writhing in pain. Yay, quality time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 150

Today, I have a huge scab on my thigh. What from? My thighs rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 235

You deserved it 33 151

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 195

You deserved it 3 652

Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 358