Love: Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing....

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 3 067

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Same thing different taste

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 059

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 817

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 3 908

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 656

You deserved it 492

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 763

You deserved it 1 184

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 616

You deserved it 884

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 901

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 25 968

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 389

You deserved it 5 245

sobstory10000 17

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them

Morning_fml 22

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.

Comments

ajs1987 15

Friday 23 January 2015 19:32

your girlfriend is an asshole, and your friend sounds like a huge dick

anoniemm 13

Friday 23 January 2015 20:12

I see what you did there...

sousounator 19

Friday 23 January 2015 19:32

Your best friend is an asshole , and break up with that *****

SystemofaBlink41 27

Saturday 24 January 2015 3:28

Well, we can say he was IN an asshole...

CaptainPicard 3

Friday 23 January 2015 19:34

Sounds like you need to give your ex-best friend some anal tearing of his own. (previous post auto-corrected some words)

ndnpride88 25

Friday 23 January 2015 19:36

Well isn't that "ANAL". Feel sorry for you op. Leave her and find someone worth keeping. Find a new friend too btw.

19990231 29

Friday 23 January 2015 20:13

Forced pun is forced. Just like the best friends dick.

LaurenRoxsU 9

Saturday 24 January 2015 14:21

@52, You saved it all! The whole day. My hero.

missmisery86 11

Friday 23 January 2015 19:37

wow thats ******. sorry dude

brieee 23

Friday 23 January 2015 19:39

At least he ripped her a new one for you...

southerngalslove 15

Friday 23 January 2015 19:41

Sounds like she deserved it.

klenorris 15

Friday 23 January 2015 19:52

karma is a wonderful thing..... :)

SkitchOK 5

Friday 23 January 2015 19:52

Guess he stabbed you both in the back!

gobiteme2 34

Friday 23 January 2015 20:39

I don’t about both of them. But he sure stabbed OP’s hopefully ex somewhat lower

jigglypuff34 16

Friday 23 January 2015 19:54

This whole best friend has sex with boyfriend/girlfriend happens way too often on here. Time to start new with people that care about you.

gobiteme2 34

Saturday 24 January 2015 19:03

It sounds like the girlfriend did start anew. Why else would she do anal with a new partner?

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I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 381

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 617

You deserved it 4 794

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 836

You deserved it 3 966

Today, as my 12-hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 2 511

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 177

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 3 640

Today, I got yelled at for not taking an order correctly at work. I've been washing dishes all day and haven't taken a single order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 191

You deserved it 871

Same thing different taste

Gross out competition

Not now, guys

FML Uncensored

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