Love: Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing....

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 3 067

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Same thing different taste

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 059

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 817

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 3 908

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 656

You deserved it 492

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 763

You deserved it 1 184

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 616

You deserved it 884

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 901

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 25 968

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 389

You deserved it 5 245

sobstory10000 17

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them

Morning_fml 22

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.

Comments

baxwar 15

Friday 23 January 2015 23:12

I hope her asshole stays torn Like once the doctors hear the story they'll be like ha lime juice and razors

Charles900 16

Friday 23 January 2015 23:13

Now that's what I kill karma.

poirot_fml 13

Friday 23 January 2015 23:24

Sometimes I've a hard time believing some stories in this app ! Sorry for you op .

dawood_k 27

Friday 23 January 2015 23:33

What an asshole

daribubbles 10

Friday 23 January 2015 23:37

So much for "ripping her a new asshole", your friend beat you to it

mmazzaa 16

Friday 23 January 2015 23:48

What an ass

Andrew863 12

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:16

SDI

Miscellanonymous 8

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:44

karma showed up early!

WitEluded 13

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:47

Step 1: Call the hospital and cancel her meal service Step 2: Order Taco Bell to her room 3 times a day

IvyRizzzzoli 25

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:50

Well, your girlfriend is a ***** and you're friend is a asshole....cant get alot worse then getting cheated and losing a friend...sorry op :/

Keywords

Gifts Money Christmas Lonely Relatable Health Awkward Family Miscellaneous Technology Social Media Narcissistic parents Holidays Love Drunk Poopoo peepee Annoying Dogs Animals My ex Work Religion AITA Shopping Intimacy Break-ups Am I overreacting? Cheating Delivery Furniture

The Top

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 388

You deserved it 53 433

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 405

You deserved it 4 186

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 141

Today, grateful that my husband has been helping out more around the house, I figured he’d hired someone since he hates cleaning. What I wasn’t expecting was that he hired some chick in skimpy/kinky underwear that he found on Craigslist. Apparently the “lingerie cleaning service” is a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 281

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 468

You deserved it 73 155

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 619

You deserved it 6 316

Today, my daughter is such a greedy idiot. Her ex was voluntarily giving her over £1000 for the kid but she decided she wanted more, and dragged him to child support court. She’s now only getting about £500 and her ex, who formerly had a great relationship with her, now hates her guts. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 162

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 711

You deserved it 3 591

Same thing different taste

Gross out competition

Not now, guys

FML Uncensored

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