Intimacy: Turn on

Turn on

By amorousintx - 26/09/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 184

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 811

You deserved it 8 834

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 51 002

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 185

You deserved it 5 621

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 972

You deserved it 4 957

Bad sex

By Undersexed - 14/09/2016 22:01 - United States - Washington

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 955

You deserved it 2 450

Admit it

By Rick - 02/10/2023 08:00

Today, I went to my colleague’s apartment so we could talk about a project for work over dinner. One thing led to another and the sexual tension we couldn’t unleash at work for months got to the best of us. It was the best sex I ever had and I want to come back for more. I just wish I didn’t have a wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 1 295

Nag nag nag

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 770

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 815

You deserved it 9 037

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 585

You deserved it 49 803

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 560

You deserved it 243

Johnaldo 3

Monday 27 September 2010 9:12

At least you're more fun than homework...

kaijapapaya 0

Monday 27 September 2010 9:32

meh, don't take it personally. instead, have some school teacher role-play sex. he's been pretty naughty for not doing his homework, right? ;)

Comments

Johnaldo 3

Monday 27 September 2010 9:12

At least you're more fun than homework...

kotomi 0

Monday 27 September 2010 9:17

everything is more fun than homework -_-

MissGrinch 4

Monday 27 September 2010 9:21

D: I disagree! Homework is so much fun! The learning! The difficulty! The moment when I can exclaim, "I have conquered thee!" >:)

MissErikaHart 0

Monday 27 September 2010 12:03

well u had a good romp, no fml here

KingDingALing 9

Monday 27 September 2010 12:06

What the ****? Romp? Hahahahahahahaha

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 27 September 2010 14:32

Ooh, OP decided to great creative with her words and use a phrase other than "my husband and I ******." So what? The creative wording is so much more fun to read. :P Sorry if I sound snippy. I guess that's what happens when I comment on FMLs at 5:30 am...

Hayman68 4

Monday 27 September 2010 14:42

hey, if nerds get you hot, youll love me

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 27 September 2010 15:38

@7 we do the same thing with sex The learning! - Today I learned that my girl friend is really kinky The difficulty! - She wanted me to do some Kama Sutra position called "lotus on pole" The moment when I can exclaim, "I have conquered thee!" >:) -- That's what she said! FML.

MissGrinch 4

Tuesday 28 September 2010 0:46

28, I didn't think of it that way. I feel so uncool. D:

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 28 September 2010 1:10

You're not uncool. You just do waaaay too much homework.

iHOOT4Hooters 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 6:07

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Husband: Um, I was really busy. Teacher: With what? Husband: Well, I had some Sex Ed. homework, and also some Physical Education homework. Teacher: So? Husband: So, I decided to combine them into one, and practice on my wife.