Valentine's slay, Looking good and Miscellaneous: Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's...

By bcca - 13/02/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 6 337

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Same thing different taste

By Loot - 17/02/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 6 054

By ThanksMum - 14/02/2012 11:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 2 791

Photoshopped

By Noname - 18/02/2009 21:55 - United States

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 604

You deserved it 3 959

Tact

By FalkensLabyrinth - 03/02/2021 19:57 - United States - Gardner

Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 215

Embezzlement

By Username - 06/01/2011 07:49

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 2 476

Cheers

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 08:25 - Australia - Aspley

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 374

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 13/03/2015 15:02 - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 2 840

By fatman - 10/08/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 695

You deserved it 11 524

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 7 976

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 17:02

Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 725

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 13 February 2010 20:03

gym membership is often expensive and you just got it for free...

BbYhRtLsS 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:59

kind of contradicting isn't it?

Comments

corme_fml 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:28

niccceeee XD

WordsOfHope 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:29

i think there's a message hidden in it, too

Rota 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:37

Absolute win.

Blue_Black_fml 21

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:40

umm so? you got a free gym membership!! stop whining and go exercise!

trackrunner00008 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:45

she cares about you. be happy

JRo 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 21:50

Take the hint and put down the fork fat ass.

philman114 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 22:04

Are you going to the gym?

Tkdxxxse 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 22:09

or send a pic of a tombstone and a old lady and tell her what's to come :D

treylynne 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 22:14

damn.. that suxs. Like I know for shure my gran won't do that to me but dude, hinting for months. thats krazy

treylynne 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 22:17

oh, & your granny cares. so this isn't a fml really. its more like whoo who.. my granny likes ME! ahaha

corme_fml 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 22:22

If her grandma really cared she would have stayed in the kitchen and baked some damn cookies! :P

deadsrs 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 4:13

lmao 81 win

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

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I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 85

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 433

The Top

Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 181

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 3 302

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 478

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 652

You deserved it 921

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 633

You deserved it 28 760

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 3 721