Intimacy: Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not...

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 11:58 - United States - Gorham

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 309

You deserved it 9 124

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 13/09/2010 23:19 - France

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 656

You deserved it 2 849

Nice to see you

By meeee - 13/02/2021 23:01

Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 697

You deserved it 3 267

By Sgt_Jackrum - 05/02/2016 10:27 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 335

You deserved it 2 396

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 252

You deserved it 20 795

By bob - 01/09/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 466

You deserved it 2 713

By Anonymous - 27/11/2014 18:51 - United States - Athens

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 126

You deserved it 3 748

By agentile - 02/12/2010 01:14 - United States

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 635

You deserved it 60 485

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 760

You deserved it 4 031

By cAPITOLpORN - 23/06/2015 15:57 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 269

You deserved it 2 215

StanSmith_fml 9

Tuesday 12 June 2012 18:48

Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.

Kajol123 5

Tuesday 12 June 2012 18:49

At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP

Comments

kirstyndwatson 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 20:06

She sounds like a nice lady.

Gunnarr 12

Wednesday 13 June 2012 20:41

Tell her to loosen up. ..Wait a second..

katiebeeeee 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:14

Why would you even dress like that? You should dress respectable. It's called self respect.

retrorewind 13

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:26

and all ur clothes granny dont have to be as loose as u

GryffinDarkBreed 3

Thursday 14 June 2012 4:51

Well she's ******* right. Get some clothes that leave it to the imagination

lolmonkeyz 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:19

BAHAHAHAHA

allknowingbrony 5

Friday 15 June 2012 0:10

learn to be respectable, you're visiting your grandmother, not your boyfriend...

kennyck 4

Friday 15 June 2012 1:06

YDI, when hanging out with family modest is always hottest.

viviblink 4

Saturday 16 June 2012 5:05

to which you reply i bet you have some expierence with condoms

mitchestate 6

Saturday 16 June 2012 16:08

Meh, she's probably right

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The Top

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 2 180

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 3 877

The Top

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 251

You deserved it 268

Today, the mother of my children and partner of 13 years told me she is leaving me for her boss. I'm currently sitting in the living room with our two kids and her mother. Everyone here is half of her. We moved 1000 miles away from all of my family and friends 8 years ago. I think I might be living in a sitcom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 138

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 8 990

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 232

You deserved it 5 052

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 300

You deserved it 9 960

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 408

You deserved it 43 019

Same thing different taste

Nice to see you

Mad beliefs

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