Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really...

By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - 06/12/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 942

You deserved it 27 196

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Same thing different taste

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 834

You deserved it 3 130

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 10 167

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 887

You deserved it 5 819

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 149

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 780

You deserved it 3 078

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 177

By booste - 18/10/2009 04:06 - Canada

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 766

You deserved it 2 269

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 8 746

By rosmaizura - 01/10/2010 07:39 - Malaysia

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 437

You deserved it 22 390

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 523

You deserved it 7 465

DocBastard 38

Monday 6 December 2010 23:26

OP, now say "I'm a ******* moron" five times fast. What does that sound like to you?

WTSchool 0

Monday 6 December 2010 23:09

She probably thought you were smart enough to figure it out. Sorry.

Comments

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Tuesday 7 December 2010 3:36

That joke reminds me of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode when the Witch Doctor tricks everyone into saying his "chant". XDDD

0opsie 6

Tuesday 7 December 2010 3:44

It would've been funnier if your mom grounded you before you figured it out.

alexxss_fml 10

Tuesday 7 December 2010 4:05

lmfao. awesome granny.

rushgirl 6

Tuesday 7 December 2010 4:26

alpha Kenny body

t765234 10

Tuesday 7 December 2010 4:44

I was told this in 6th grade, I got it right away though so... good job there buddy.

babybrunette128 8

Tuesday 7 December 2010 5:08

lmfao that's funny.. but suuuucks to be you

fierystage 8

Tuesday 7 December 2010 5:24

That's not that subtle. I felt so naive when I figured out what elementary school bullies meant when they told me to "look down my shirt and spell 'attic.'"