Health: Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every... - FML

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 218

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 145

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...

By gassy - 17/08/2018 18:30

Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 893

You deserved it 243

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 514

You deserved it 2 184

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 05:38 - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 195

You deserved it 3 866

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 14:07 - Canada

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 680

You deserved it 4 978

Smells like… victory

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 695

You deserved it 3 943

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 091

You deserved it 7 827

By all arsed out - 06/03/2016 16:50 - United Kingdom - Spalding

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 655

You deserved it 1 559

By Anonymous - 23/06/2019 20:30

Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 143

Next

Top comments

jtthegr8 26

Friday 9 March 2012 8:41

Start wearing a diaper?

CbDemyx 1

Friday 9 March 2012 8:42

At least it's one or the other and not both.

Comments

apparentloner 6

Saturday 10 March 2012 14:09

450 people say she deserved it.. Wtf?!

clm123455 14

Monday 12 March 2012 8:25

People these days.

yellowdiamond_fml 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 15:57

lol!!!!

katmarie89 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 16:42

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and my doctor said you can take benadryl or even the store brand for your allergies. Hope this helps! It came in handy for me in the beginning

420LesBeHonest69 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 2:01

:O

KirstyyLloyd 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 23:31

PREGNANT LADIES!! Work on your pelvic floor muscles!! It prevents you from wetting yourself the second you need to pee :)

Professor59 2

Tuesday 13 March 2012 23:01

Did you think being pregnant was going to be fun? Please write back in 4 months to complain about the delivery.

lulu6789 0

Friday 16 March 2012 9:53

Pads. Pads help.

born12l8 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 10:39

Maybe u should use ur keigle muscles and this wouldn't happen, ur probably loose because of this..

coolkitty154 11

Thursday 18 April 2013 22:28

yes, because people piss out of their vaginas, right?

Allstars4242 0

Monday 19 March 2012 6:48

Doesn't matter had sex..

danni74 1

Thursday 29 March 2012 6:16

Dang I'm so sorry I know how you feel it happens to every woman who is pregnant

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The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, after an ex let me know I have a 19 year old-son. I was beyond excited so I spent the weekend with them and I can tell you now, the boy is a complete prick, and I prefer to continue to claim I’m childless rather than admit I fathered that arrogant, rude, selfish, entitled little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 605

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month, and is happening this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 614

You deserved it 2 844

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 4 797

Today, after a three day hospitalization, four weeks of a new heart med, no alcohol and no caffeine, my heart rhythm was finally back on track. That is until some a-hole teens decided that banging loudly on my door and running away was hilarious. Oh well, back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 183

You deserved it 17 632

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 738

You deserved it 47 113