Love: Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 18:16 - United Kingdom - New Malden

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 848

You deserved it 4 444

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lace - 23/08/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 138

You deserved it 3 754

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 3 123

By Jessi - 21/07/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 831

You deserved it 5 794

Nice try

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 655

You deserved it 3 490

That's nice, but…

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 18:00

Today, my husband announced the reason he had been working since much is because he had secretly paid off my tens of thousands of student loans. I then had to tell him I'm leaving him for his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 2 523

Yeah, just blame me!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 11:02

Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 135

By Tree - 30/07/2010 11:34 - France

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 091

You deserved it 5 793

Well done

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back, and lying about where he was was, out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 247

You deserved it 3 147

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 572

You deserved it 540

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 500

You deserved it 433

whiskeey 14

Friday 21 March 2014 23:42

How much did he offer?

VicRC 7

Friday 21 March 2014 23:43

Take the money and run!

Comments

megadki14 6

Saturday 22 March 2014 19:33

tell him you'll accept the money during divorce proceedings.

Bluevalkyrie 13

Saturday 22 March 2014 19:50

He'll end up paying a lot more. It's called alimony.

juturnaamo 29

Saturday 22 March 2014 20:51

Damn. I was pissed when my ex tried to pay me to do dishes on his day. If you're married, how can you give money to your spouse? Its shared money.

dkbooboo 3

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:10

as long as it was a mistake not a habit.. its gd to live and forget but thts not evn funny!

estefa20 10

Monday 24 March 2014 3:18

Divorce his sorry ass!

molleyla 7

Monday 24 March 2014 5:18

Guess he must have thought that would cost him less money instead of a divorce.

sumanmaas15 2

Monday 24 March 2014 21:20

Take the money and get the hell out of there. He's obviously not worth it.

oderpface 2

Monday 24 March 2014 23:00

I say he is an bitch

CeltHound 14

Tuesday 25 March 2014 0:37

Leave him or charge him an EXORBITANT amount of money!

validator 12

Tuesday 25 March 2014 2:31

He thought you where the sidechick lol

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The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, my 25 year-old brother ran into my room very excited at 8 am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited, I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious, he said, "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 9 364

Today, I went to a cute frog-themed frozen yogurt shop that was surprisingly realistic. So realistic, in fact, that there was a dead fly in my yogurt. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 778

You deserved it 315

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 159

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 610

You deserved it 4 233

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 728

You deserved it 9 181

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 108

You deserved it 6 061