Miscellaneous: Today, my husband lost his keys again. It's a daily struggle...

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By wife - 22/02/2015 03:47 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband lost his keys again. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 8 703

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Same thing different taste

Brain worms

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Ridgefield

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck. I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 842

You deserved it 10 017

It's always in the most obvious place

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 14:00

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 132

You deserved it 2 548

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 090

You deserved it 32 280

By keyless - 14/04/2012 15:20 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 2 194

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 3 182

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 948

You deserved it 11 422

This is terrible!

By Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00

Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 1 122

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 16:04 - United States - Millers Tavern

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 32 145

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 313

You deserved it 37 466

ShadoeAcurus 16

Sunday 22 February 2015 12:07

That is... Kinda impressive actually...

Exodiafinder687 58

Sunday 22 February 2015 12:08

Well at least you will know the first place to look should the kids go missing.

Comments

bunnylady08 13

Wednesday 25 February 2015 18:40

I wouldn't recommend procreation...

Shade1982 20

Thursday 26 February 2015 11:37

Ehm, I hate to be the negative one here, but that could be a sign of a mental condition or something much, much worse...

smedic32 5

Monday 2 March 2015 14:49

First signs of Alzheimer's disease......no bs. U don't have to be old to get it.

nishah 8

Thursday 5 March 2015 20:14

Wow

ImNotFunny11 3

Sunday 26 April 2015 9:50

Maybe last time he left them in the microwave, and his subconscious just wanted to balance things out.

Skylarconner 14

Thursday 16 July 2015 18:19

maybe he has autism, you should really get him checked out

Imdyingtho 0

Sunday 19 July 2015 12:06

He's probably just a guy actually :/. Still though, you're screwed bro.. Goodluck x

kayayye 22

Monday 21 September 2015 2:34

???

penguinpinz 8

Thursday 7 January 2016 17:01

I've left my phone in the fridge before...

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The Top

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 46 196

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 824

The Top

Keep chasing them!

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 71

Today, I walked in the house as though I was coming home from work on a normal day, fully clothed and carrying my work bag, but somehow my dad still knew I hadn’t been to work, but was in fact doing the evening version of the walk of shame, after spending all day in bed with my booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 186

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 566

You deserved it 55 371

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 758

You deserved it 54 345

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 690

You deserved it 307

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 159

You deserved it 1 206

Same thing different taste

Brain worms

It's always in the most obvious place

This is terrible!

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