Intimacy: Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets... - FML

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 060

You deserved it 7 909

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Same thing different taste

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 132

You deserved it 6 806

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 066

You deserved it 6 198

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 044

You deserved it 10 598

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 177

You deserved it 5 614

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 19:54 - United States - Phoenix

Spicy

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 538

By Dejected - 07/12/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 4 728

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 4 953

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 353

You deserved it 13 296

Concentration face

By Nuttree - 01/08/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having sex. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 6 885

Next

Top comments

mrbiffle 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 22:38

hahaha I told my girl the same thing

cusof 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:30

This is your girl

Comments

yay_knee 3

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:38

Well it's hard getting a chopper gunner and it really is exiting. I've gotten a chopper gunner at least 10 times and I always scream in excitement. (I once got a chopper gunner and had just called it when the game ended- I was pissed) So next time just try something sexier or wear kinky clothes to get him excited. (Or just watch a whole bunch of **** and take notes)

yay_knee 3

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:38

Well it's hard getting a chopper gunner and it really is exiting. I've gotten a chopper gunner at least 10 times and I always scream in excitement. (I once got a chopper gunner and had just called it when the game ended- I was pissed) So next time just try something sexier or wear kinky clothes to get him excited. (Or just watch a whole bunch of **** and take notes)

unidentified_sta 5

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:38

Make that thrice.

c0mn 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:44

maybe you should spice it up. I'd take a chopper gunner over lazy sex anyday.

yay_knee 3

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:44

OOPS I didn't mean to do that ^

hpaiste 2

Wednesday 22 December 2010 4:49

you mean "in Black Ops." silly

xenno92 3

Wednesday 22 December 2010 5:27

he must not get chopper gunners that often

CODgirlsrule 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 5:41

I must say, being a chick and all, it is pretty freaking exciting to get chopper gunner! black ops is beast! :) hang in there chick, you excite him!

retardthinkswhat 3

Wednesday 22 December 2010 5:50

OP you should be proud

SmAsHiNwInDoWs 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 5:58

WHO DOESNT?!?! seriously. its amazing. aahhhhhhhh. RED DIAMONDS EVERYWHERE MUHAHAHAHA

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 3 169

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 508

The Top

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 200

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 4 512

Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 268

You deserved it 4 385

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 280

You deserved it 3 711

Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 841

You deserved it 2 260

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 4 018