Intimacy: Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets... - FML

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 060

You deserved it 7 909

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Same thing different taste

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 132

You deserved it 6 806

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 066

You deserved it 6 198

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 044

You deserved it 10 598

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 177

You deserved it 5 614

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 19:54 - United States - Phoenix

Spicy

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 538

By Dejected - 07/12/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 4 728

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 4 953

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 353

You deserved it 13 296

Concentration face

By Nuttree - 01/08/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having sex. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 6 885

Next

Top comments

mrbiffle 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 22:38

hahaha I told my girl the same thing

cusof 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:30

This is your girl

Comments

YouKnowJosh 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:03

Does he yell "PLANTING EXPLOSIVES!!" when he sticks it in?

Moitrix 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 11:45

I know I do except my Wang is actually a piece of dynamite

Zeusthegoose 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:04

first

serenity40 6

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:07

I agree. getting a chopper gunner is really exciting.

sculp91 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:07

lol why should guys get SOOO excited over sex....it's 10 minutes long. plus half the girls are unsatisfied anyways let your man play his video games!

Terezi 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:18

Just because you're terrible at sex doesn't mean it's not great. I love my video games, too, but if my husband was feeling frisky, I'd be finding a save point real quick.

carpediemryders 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 14:35

the only problem is that their is no save point on multi player online, if their was I'd use it too. But theirs not so my wife just has to wait whenever she asks for something, or wants something!

aimeebooxoxo 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:28

can you blame him? black ops is the shit.

KEB13 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:46

you are in fact THE SHIT!

getzy 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:31

chill as Fawk right there

iPunchedBigFoot 5

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:35

You must be kinda boring.

Darko21 5

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:39

Too bad you're not "Gunship" material.

skywalker66 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 6:20

lolololololololololololllolololllolloiolololololioloiolollololiolooiiololoooiolooooloiolillolooolololo.Ikr

DRock525 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:41

to mess with him back, tell him but not as excited as you are when you get Attack Dog's in your care package, then the gun ship!

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 341

You deserved it 3 360

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 1 209

The Top

Today, I found out that my now ex-fiancé was still married to her ex throughout the entire relationship. What I didn't realize was that I ended up paying for the divorce, and 3 months later she got married to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 169

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 635

You deserved it 14 532

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 008

You deserved it 7 579

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 446

You deserved it 7 418

Today, my boss is writing me up for not signing a report before I left work. He refused to print the report that day, and I don't have access to the printers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 295

You deserved it 1 517

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 143

You deserved it 538