Health: Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes...

By ewww - 03/12/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 378

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 6 417

STOOOOP

By Patoose - 16/08/2016 20:54 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 897

You deserved it 1 429

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 821

You deserved it 2 951

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 589

You deserved it 2 640

By FitnessFirst - 25/11/2015 00:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 179

You deserved it 3 278

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 07:35

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 965

You deserved it 10 337

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 121

Drop them right now

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 553

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 06:00

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 300

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 654

You deserved it 36 362

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Thursday 3 December 2009 12:41

SLIP SOMETHING IN HIS DRINK AND THEN CUT THEM sorry about the caps, i'd fix it but im too lazy

aback 4

Thursday 3 December 2009 12:49

Make him sleep on the couch. Or the porch, if you don't have a couch.

Comments

perdix 29

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:00

Why are you so sure he was sleeping? Maybe he just hates you.

herehaveabandaid 2

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:22

It seems to me that you have three options, which I'm sure have all been said already, I just thought I'd sum it up for you: 1) Cut his toenails while he sleeps. 2) Put him in the doghouse - that means couch, porch, etc. and a definite withholding of sex. 3) Find something that bothers him and use it as leverage, i.e. if he hates you nagging him to pick up his underwear from the floor, agree to let him leave it there if he'll cut his toenails. Personally, I'm a fan of the first two, more because I think the results would be funnier, but option three seems like an actual solution. Think about it.