Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;...

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 485

You deserved it 3 991

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 135

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 575

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 826

You deserved it 5 073

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 823

You deserved it 3 142

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 196

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 3 066

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 7 247

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

PlayLikeAChamp6 1

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:06

The Ray Lewis of cheating excuses

potato63 10

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:07

Ha! Oh well sucks to be you, maybe he's just sick of you.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:43

Just wait until someone cheats on you. I'm sure you won't see it the same way :)

hsbzjsnsos 12

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:13

hopefully they both slip into an 'accidental' coma

VeganDarkLight 31

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:47

But someone would have to take care of them then, and I doubt they are worth it.

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:17

I hate it when that happens. Good luck with the divorce

Geary519 20

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:46

im glad im not the only one that happens to! its a serious issue

Countryboy1996 18

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:51

If you're on the market I can help you

Carnaxa 8

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:01

accidents happen....is what you are going to tel the cops when they are questioning you after becoming a widow.

foxmatrix15 8

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:02

He is soooo clumsy

thatoneguy1111 15

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:06

That poor man! Jk sorry op

Andrewski12 18

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:10

Must have went down the slip and slide together

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The Top

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 124

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

The Top

Today, I was called a "disabled buzzkill" for not letting someone pet my service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 546

You deserved it 249

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 3 748

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 173

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 537

You deserved it 2 389

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 863

You deserved it 6 024

Today, the best moment of my day is when I wake up because I need to use the bathroom, then afterwards look at the clock to see that there's only a couple of hours before I have to get up for good and face another day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 107