Miscellaneous: Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had... - FML

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 678

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Same thing different taste

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 637

You deserved it 6 500

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 6 879

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 000

You deserved it 25 913

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 074

You deserved it 258

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

Lost

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 951

You deserved it 8 722

By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 8 052

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 631

You deserved it 32 852

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

Next

Top comments

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:56

Tell her you already had eggs sunny side up.

LMA0 5

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:55

Haha awkward! :p

Comments

stone1943 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 8:24

you really had fun last night.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 4 February 2010 8:28

at least she didn't write on you with a sharpie....

Cupcaken 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 8:31

damn... i hope she makes you wash the floor.. nobody wants to step on ballsweat.

mtc4ever 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 9:02

you're life is far from sucking. I'd be dead

RaidenXS 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 9:18

dude. ur mom makes you breakfast? i want ur mom.

talonbronson 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 9:36

personally, this doesn't strike ne as an FML.... seems more like a MLIA, but that's just my opinion.

AKING 3

Thursday 4 February 2010 9:58

cool mom

fylseriously 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 10:09

ok so y is this on fml? u need to go to Twitter if you're gonna post something like this

g3rusz 6

Thursday 4 February 2010 11:43

Today, my mom woke me up after I passed out in the kitchen. Seems like I had an awesome party last night. She wasn't even angry. FML

GumiiZ 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 12:35

Look on the bright side, your mum knows where she belongs, the kitchen.

freakofnature118 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 15:01

what the **** is wrong with you! you chauvinist! I can't believe you would even think that

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 979

The Top

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 225

You deserved it 4 169

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 285

You deserved it 9 933

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 68 647

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 924

You deserved it 2 523

Today, I was making a TikTok in the bathroom mirror. Right as I was finishing up, my little brother burst in, shouted, "That's going on YouTube!" and ran off. Guess what he did five minutes later? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 598

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 866

You deserved it 4 527