Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 402

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Same thing different taste

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 531

You deserved it 12 564

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 062

Adding injury to injury

By BeLoud13 - 11/09/2022 07:30

Today, I took cough syrup for a miserable COVID sore throat and harsh cough. It went down the wrong tube, and now I'm coughing worse, trying to get it out of my lungs. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 015

You deserved it 5 174

By Why Me - 15/08/2018 04:00

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 669

TW: Gross

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 424

You deserved it 2 835

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 398

You deserved it 6 532

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 755

You deserved it 6 027

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 852

You deserved it 267

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 681

You deserved it 2 459

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:16

Moron? Really?!?! To me, that seems like a pretty slick move.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 27 April 2019 4:32

His boyfriend probably told him to do that for other reasons.

Comments

Takegami 22

Sunday 28 April 2019 16:16

I’m afraid to say it but your kid might be terminally stupid

IHaveThePower 16

Thursday 23 September 2021 0:25

I assume you already called poison control and set a new house rule of 'we only ingest food items', so I'll just laugh with you. (Don't worry, he'll grow out of the stupid. Most teenagers do.)

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The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 115

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 376

You deserved it 4 433

Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 108

You deserved it 5 081

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 331

You deserved it 22 268

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 1 115

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046