By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 147 260
You deserved it 17 288

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4

Comments

xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0

I don't get why it's an FML. My mom would probably say something along those lines too. Something more like "If you even get a girl pregnant before you move out, I'll kill the bitch."

0 0
amykillswitch 0

lol your mom is brutal. I would say the same thing to my kid though. Sorry but by the time my kid is old enough to be involved with sex, I plan on relaxing and doing my own shit again. Not raising another kid that isn't even mine.

0 0
yesbutnotyou 0

HAHAHA that's awesome! sounds just like my mom.

0 0
ilovefmlife 0

mhmm our mother's are definitely related.

0 0
mcsnelly 5

# 118-she said ever COME HOME pregnant...as in while living at her house, i'm assuming being in school....not ever BECOME pregnant.

0 0
heather889121 0

um... so??? my father always said that to me... maybe you wouldn't think this was a FML if you never had to worry about it (aka, having unprotected sex)

0 0
mcsnelly 5

ok i meant # 120 not # 118....sorry

0 0
dingleberrybop 0

your mother has issues

0 0