By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 147 260
You deserved it 17 288

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4

Comments

haulkeel 0

Your mom sounds great, depending on how old you are. I agree there should be a parents section on here too.

0 0
gaararox13 0

is that a threat or a promise?XD although she should be more clearer i hate it when parents say that because then you might be afraid to tell them when ur older and u actually want a kid but still making a point dont ever come home pregnant

0 0
harlehatschi 0

it sounds like she just doesn't want you to repeat her mistakes XP

0 0
skelly247 0

Ok, so to onigirliqueen: like a lot of people have said, children that are adopted have wonderful lives. A friend of mine is adopted and he has no issues of thinking that his parents didnt love him enough. Whatever gave you the idea that people that are adopted live a horrible life? and to Op: Sorry, your mom seems completely overbearing. I know of someone that got pregnant when they were 17 and while it was hard, their family pulled together and they are all raising the baby together.

0 0
greeneye_fml 12

I find that good advice. I'd probably say the same to my kid.

0 0
Jaxro 6

Kill the kid? Shit my parents would probably kill me instead....

0 0
elara15 0

#71, where do you get your facts that "999 out of 1000" times an adopted child is placed with a loving family? Ask a social worker. Even today, in the United States, orphanages exist. Have you ever been inside a group home or halfway house or any other government facility where older, unwanted children are held because many homes are just not adequate for placement? Nevermind that many pro-lifers are also the ones supporting gay adoption and foster parenting bans. The same ones who support a political party opposed to childcare subsidies, the Family Medical Leave Act, pay equity, and universal health care, that all would help struggling families. There are many reasons why adoption isn't always the best alternative. Sometimes something as simple as the many health complications of pregnancy, especially with young mothers.

0 0
elara15 0

The entire abortion debate is moot. Abortions happened when illegal. The countriest with the lowest rates of abortion have it legalized. Many countries that suddenly illegalize abortion suffered heavy motherhood and infant mortality rates (like Romania). SAFE, LEGAL, AND RARE.

1 0
DizzyDemon0 9

Rofl. Arguing over the internet just makes you look retarded. Your mom is awesome. If your pregnant don't go home haha.

0 0