Miscellaneous: Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in...

By omfgfmlife - 05/07/2011 14:32 - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 3 068

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Same thing different taste

By thanksmom - 22/12/2014 23:15 - United States - Watertown

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 2 637

By IlikeGreenPlants - 26/11/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 912

You deserved it 54 689

By Emyka - 21/09/2016 10:51 - Austria

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 364

You deserved it 6 692

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 228

Green fingers

By Claire - 11/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 128

By gazza - 26/05/2012 20:41 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 448

You deserved it 1 751

Green fingers

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 07:30

Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 180

Pica?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 17:59

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 97

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 4 554

Thanks, I hate this

By creepingjennie - 05/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to the flowering plant my passive-aggressive mother gave me for Christmas. I take two different antihistamines daily for my numerous allergies all year round, and my mother knows this is why I don't have house plants. She said, "You better not get rid of it!" I think she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 159

xxsarahfxx 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:03

Always listen to your mother ! :)

FUGYU 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:04

Just be lucky you didn't pick up her genetics, hopefully.

Comments

kduubb 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:58

mom's kno best :p

Babalu722 3

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:02

Americans..

HahaYDI 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:10

...have huge penises.

truffleshuffle22 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 2:56

so true

zombiebud 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:06

that is crazy hahahaha

tjmsc83 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:15

haha smart

shannon1029 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:16

Water her to make her look more real and see how she likes it.

starr_muffin 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:25

lol that's to funny!

spencerchu 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:35

then just water the 10%

pamelax3 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:44

I lol'd.

LuukBaas 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:42

what if my sister watered het boobs, will that make them look realer?

UnderWaterComix 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:55

642- So by your logic, the word "irregardless" is a proper word.

NYkid2K8 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 21:03

Just because they're fake doesn't mean they should be treated differently.

BaconDave 12

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:19

Just like boobs

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Nooooo, I'm not interviewing Candy Staton, and nooooo I'm not going to talk about the Avengers but guys this isn't 9gag so let me introduce you to the fresh new artist we're welcoming today! She's a lovely lady who lives in Vancouver and she's the au...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

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Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 736

You deserved it 7 802

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 2 810

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 092

You deserved it 2 805

Today, I walked to an interview on my college campus. I got there early. The place was empty. I assumed I wrote the date wrong. Several hours later, a friend who also was interviewed asked me how my interview went. The date, time and location were all right. I don't know how I got lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 034

You deserved it 3 751

Today, I had a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I had any experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 057

You deserved it 1 085

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 301

Same thing different taste

Thanks, mom

Green fingers

Green fingers

Pica?

Thanks, I hate this

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