Miscellaneous: Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in...

By omfgfmlife - 05/07/2011 14:32 - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 317

You deserved it 3 068

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Same thing different taste

By thanksmom - 22/12/2014 23:15 - United States - Watertown

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 2 637

By IlikeGreenPlants - 26/11/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 912

You deserved it 54 689

By Emyka - 21/09/2016 10:51 - Austria

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 364

You deserved it 6 692

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 228

Green fingers

By Claire - 11/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 128

By gazza - 26/05/2012 20:41 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 1 751

Green fingers

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 07:30

Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 181

Pica?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 17:59

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 97

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 906

You deserved it 4 554

Thanks, I hate this

By creepingjennie - 05/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to the flowering plant my passive-aggressive mother gave me for Christmas. I take two different antihistamines daily for my numerous allergies all year round, and my mother knows this is why I don't have house plants. She said, "You better not get rid of it!" I think she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 159

xxsarahfxx 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:03

Always listen to your mother ! :)

FUGYU 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:04

Just be lucky you didn't pick up her genetics, hopefully.

Comments

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:21

thesh plants tashte shooo goood!!!

Das_Judenburg 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:21

Mother knows best.

woodzy1993 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:24

Why are all Americans fat?

woodzy1993 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:25

Why are all Americans fat?

woodzy1993 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:28

But their already fat anyway

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:28

Why are all woodzy1993's retarded?

ollierobs 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:26

I'm sure the idea will grow on you eventually.

danishbagel 3

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:29

You kids have fun...

ollierobs 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:30

I'm sure the idea will grow on you eventually.

elpacino32605 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:40

you should water your mom to make her "realer"

jillianmathers12 13

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:42

If my mom said that I would take her to a mental hospital

CitrusGirl 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:43

I have to wonder if OP put "realer" in quotations because it's gramatically incorrect, or just as a quote.

rapunzel3416 28

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:16

I'm pretty they did it for both of those reasons.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 117

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 541

You deserved it 4 010

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 850

You deserved it 3 786

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 657

You deserved it 5 344

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 214

You deserved it 27 776

Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 503

You deserved it 499

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

Same thing different taste

Thanks, mom

Green fingers

Green fingers

Pica?

Thanks, I hate this

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