Ok here's what you do- Kick the shit out of your sorry excuse for a best friend, then smash his instruments over his head. As for the band, forget about it, it may be fun to play along with your mates, but seriously barely anyone "makes it" if that's what you were planning to do. And as for your GF, well, I think it's safe to say that some serious rumour spreading is needed, and let her know that you've got pics/ videos of her (if you do) and just let the guilt eat her up, then calmly tell your ex best friend in hospital that you've shagged her whilst he's been away, ruined the band and now he has crabs.

Your friend sounds like a rock star!

Beat the living shit out of that asshole, rip his dick off, put it in a plate that says "Bingo", bring a dog and make him see how it eats it while he's crying in pain. Then: If he plays the guitar, smash it on his head until it actually gets broken, because guitars have the heaviest/hardest body. If he plays the bass, shove it up his ******* ass from the headstock and all the way through the fretboard until you reach the body; since basses have the longest fretboard, it's gonna be more painful and more enjoyable for you. If he plays the drums, grab his sticks , paste them on a chair and then smash his naked and dickless body on them. If he sings, lock him in a room with huge Mesa Boogie cabinets surrounding him and then make his mic feedback until his ears start bleeding, then hang him with the wire. Then, before he dies bleeding, tell him he can't kick you out because you're his motherfucking leader, then have his replacement say hi to him and go play together while the sad **** perishes painfully. After having a good time, go back, take pictures of his corpse. Then make sandwiches with it and go to your ex's house. Show the bitch the pictures and enjoy her crying face. Then tie her up and take her back to where you left the sandwiches and make her eat all of them, then torture her by doing all four of the things I said in the last paragraph for being a dirty ******* ****. Fart on her face and walk away laughing at her, as you're sure she'll die painfully for sure. Then you get a new girlfriend, keep it up with your band and go on with your life. =D

oh he got you good. Seriously though, it wouldn't have worked if she is 'convinced' so easily, that or he is a master of charm.

Wow, not only if your, thank you for saying former, best friend a complete dick, but your ex girl friends a *****. Your life is fed.

wow this made me legitimately angry.

dude...this sounds like the making of a movie. My advice, if you can go solo do that, rock the shit out of everything you do, next time you see both of them....laugh in their ****** faces

Drown them. Slowly.

he's good!

He must be destroyed.