Miscellaneous: Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal,... - FML

By uhhh what? - 10/04/2012 17:47 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 332

You deserved it 5 551

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 967

You deserved it 9 595

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142 907

You deserved it 7 512

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 325

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 11:01

Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 174

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 01:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 281

Grow up

By BigKid - 28/01/2021 21:30

Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 155

Out of control

By Detroitman125 - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 091

You deserved it 333

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 475

By alliez108 - 18/11/2011 00:50 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 7 745

Next

Top comments

cradle6 13

Tuesday 10 April 2012 22:31

Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 10 April 2012 22:30

I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.

Comments

calaribinix 5

Wednesday 11 April 2012 5:38

You kind of deserve it.

muFilter 19

Wednesday 11 April 2012 5:55

This is your brain. This is your brain on chocolate eggs. Any questions?

FMLGriff 8

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:00

I'm LMFO, but feel sorry for you at the same time. I'm hoping this apple fell far from the tree. now go eat the last Twinkie, finish the ice cream, and drink the last soda in the house. Rub it in!

Angel462 0

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:13

chocolate is addicting but a chocolate easter egg is addicting to even parents :p

sparxva 12

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:29

Your parents are freaks with a chocolate obsession. Just laugh at them and remind them you will choose their retirement home.

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:47

U criminal imagine being locked up with really baddies and your worst offense was taking the last egg

thompson77 2

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:12

Harshhh..

dansco 24

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:25

Murderer! Seriously your parents are idiots! You probably grow up bossy lol

itssjulia 13

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:31

Hahaha wow that's soo funny XDDD

courtz94 24

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:50

Your parents are immature.

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Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 241

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 637

You deserved it 2 572

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I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 152

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 362

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 184

You deserved it 3 203

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets for his birthday to see our favorite band, and he told me he doesn't feel he loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 95