By Anonymous - 10/04/2012 17:47 - United States

Spicy
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 311
You deserved it 3 300
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

That's when you ask her politely to stop the car. Then you get out and jump off the dock. Seriously, if parents don't want to hear about their kids' sexual exploits, they shouldn't share their own. Especially one where mom gets poked in the ass.

511 19

Comments

xoconnie 8

WOW that is so wrong... way too much info JEEEEZ!

9 24
lukep135 6

I hate it when im having sex and a splinter gets in my Ass

52 3
Girlybanana 2

"and that's the story of why you were born" :)

47 0
Cuppycakeslol 4

And kids, that's how I met your mother.

56 3
notjustanybody20 9

tmi, mommy... tmi!!! :D *bleeding ears*

7 5
noelykins1 19

Reminds me of the things my mother tells me about her and my dad. THE HORROR THE HORROR!

0 0
blackheart24 10

So that's what you kids call it these days. Back in my day, getting a splinter in your ass was called butt sex.

3 0
DocBastard 38

That's when you ask her politely to stop the car. Then you get out and jump off the dock. Seriously, if parents don't want to hear about their kids' sexual exploits, they shouldn't share their own. Especially one where mom gets poked in the ass.

511 19
loserman67 35

I see what you did there Doc, good double entendre!

51 5
firsties 5

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8 71
Jakesterk96 8

To every parent's story, there is a life lesson. In this case: don't **** on wooden docks.

55 4
lavitaebella_fml 0

75: Your comment reminds me of that part in Mean Girls where the gym teacher is like, "Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die."

70 4
onealmxwilson 18

Umm OP already said their mom stopped the car so why would they ask her to stop?

10 25
shrinkydinks 0

Seriously 130?......because that comment was so relevant. Do us all a favor and stfu

3 35
madskittlesftw 5

Whoa man just take it easy! I agree with him, no where does it say OP's mom started driving again, so why should OP bother with asking her to stop the car? Stop flaming so hard and being a thumbs up ***** and think about the question next time. Just so you don't look like such a jackass next time.

21 12
onealmxwilson 18

How about you do us all a favor and stop bitching. I was simply pointing something out and meant it jokingly, not to lash out at Doc as you have felt it necessary to do to me.

19 3
onealmxwilson 18

And thank you 134.

9 2
DocBastard 38

Wilson - I meant "stop the car" to mean "turn off the engine". You're right though, what I said was too vague.

13 5
onealmxwilson 18

Oh okay. Thanks for clearing that up Doc :)

2 2
ImanAzol 4

How did you know I poked your mom in the ass?

2 4
OneNightStan 2

You call her a *****?

1 4
Ivette88 7

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36 68
marmlr339 14

What kind of family do you come from? :-O

42 2
RussianFox 13

Why did 5 get thumbed down while 6 got thumbed up?

23 2
LMA0 5

6 made the sarcasm more believable:p

6 2
cradle6 13

6's statement exhibited such class and intelligence. It was truly beautiful.

12 2
cradle6 13

Mother-daughter bonding. How sweet.

135 14
Bekll 31

OP could be a son; no indication of gender.

31 9
cradle6 13

Use your imagination.

37 6
Pentium_4 27

either way, day = ruined. life = scarred

42 1
lollilicker43 0

Couldnt have said it better.....lolz

3 7
SkoomaKi 27

Repeatedly wash ears with soap. If bleeding occurs, it's working.

157 1
ycrem0n 21

But the image will remain in the mind, forever and ever. The romance and intense passion, the animal lust between two people in an old wooden dock, will stay in OP's mind, will haunt OP's dreams, always.

9 2
ladyLALAA 28

That's when you scrub your eyes with the steel wool.

13 0
Serna1212 0

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3 39
DocBastard 38

Is this supposed to be your impression of mom on the dock? I think it was more like this: Ooh! OOOH! Oh oh OH! Oooooh OW! WHAT THE **** IS THAT IN MY ASS?

48 0
KeyboardWarrior 10

I think she's implying that the guy may have been lacking. OP's mom: "Ouch, it feels like got a splinter in my ass." Guy: "That's weird, I don't see one." OP's mom: "Oh, never mind." *Whistles*

12 0
thefuckinloser 6

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25 56
SweetlyPsycho 4

A mom that explains her sex life and shows you the exact spot where she did it, is a fun mom? What has this world become? Last time I checked, most kids wouldn't consider this a fun moment nor would they consider their mom fun after this experience! ((but I mean if you like hearing that from your parents then...ok))

16 3
hornetsbaseball 6

That's always a good thing to know. I think she was trying to say when u **** someone don't do it on that dock

63 1