Health, Cake, Roommate and Drugs: Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment....

By Cookie - 22/12/2011 18:11 - South Africa

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 8 521

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

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By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 826

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 30 482

By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 633

You deserved it 42 705

By brizzle - 05/04/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 481

You deserved it 6 360

Baked

By non-baker - 18/03/2015 02:12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 138

You deserved it 9 033

High on life

By badsister - 10/01/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 220

You deserved it 59 750

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 238

You deserved it 5 381

Cotton Eye Joe

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 337

You deserved it 4 558

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 4 450

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 419

MSheary1993 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:37

I was gonna clean my room but then I got high!

finished 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:35

Call them and find out you'll be less worried :)

Comments

apache316 6

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:40

I so want to do that to my parents lol

blackstar994 5

Friday 23 December 2011 1:33

Awkward…

foxfur 25

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:40

wow... I hope they are ok. Id say call as soon as you can.

Danni91 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:42

Well that certainly makes for a memorable birthday o__O

eatsleepjb 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:06

It wasn't anyones birthday

imaginaryvoice 18

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:07

Who's birthday is it? Yours? Happy birthday

Horcruxer 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:10

Lol

blackstar994 5

Friday 23 December 2011 1:35

I think 18 had a pice of the cake.

anzie_fml 9

Friday 23 December 2011 13:16

Even worse, I think 18 had a piece of cake on top of that pice!

SugaryTears 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:42

Well you gotta go call them and ask!!

eatsleepjb 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:43

I didn't understand this at all until I read the comments..haha that's funny though! You should probably call your parents to make sure they're alright.

TKello 6

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:44

To them, this reminds them of their college days. Oh they'll be back again expecting more of that 'awesome' cake. But on a serious note, I hope they got home safely.

Jibblets2367 7

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:46

"Today, my own son drugged my husband and I. We woke up in the hospital. FML"

osteobabe 13

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:36

"Today, I didn't read the gender of the OP on FML. FML."

blackstar994 5

Friday 23 December 2011 1:38

What does op mean?

Commander223 9

Friday 23 December 2011 3:17

Octopus Penis

Llamacod 11

Friday 23 December 2011 4:07

Octagonal pussy

Namerkp2 8

Friday 23 December 2011 4:20

Otter ****

benchpress550 4

Friday 23 December 2011 4:47

Optional Placement

jbsington 8

Friday 23 December 2011 5:15

Orange Potato

suzukircr99 3

Friday 23 December 2011 6:39

Optimus prime

geon_olam 17

Friday 23 December 2011 6:54

original prankster

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 23 December 2011 16:21

Oh Pourquoi

pittpsu75 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:46

Make sure that purple zebra is okay too

yellowgaffer 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:59

You're an idiot.

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:14

You're unfamiliar with FML

finished 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:46

Next time though try not to feed them marijuana cake...

eatsleepjb 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:02

He didnt know.....

fiblydinkerton 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:53

Seriously...lace their drink with ecstasy.

Namerkp2 8

Friday 23 December 2011 4:22

Captain Obvious strikes again!

finished 10

Friday 23 December 2011 13:02

Sorry my bad i missed the bit about the roommate

tj4234 35

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:48

the cake was a marijuana cake. 'Baked' is another word for high. Marijuana is often served inside a cake so that you get the effects without smoking it, and you also get something to eat at the same time!