Love: Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding...

By roadkill0321 - 07/11/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 5 388

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Same thing different taste

By Rosey - 23/07/2014 20:57 - United States - Manson

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 128

You deserved it 3 363

You never know

By Mezzlegasm - 10/07/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 097

You deserved it 51 278

Mrs Nostradamus

By Anonymous - 08/06/2022 02:00

Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 814

You deserved it 3 012

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 4 123

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 3 196

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 2 882

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 05:13 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 171

You deserved it 7 288

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 129

You deserved it 10 451

By M.A. - 25/02/2014 05:22 - United States - Prescott

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 107

You deserved it 5 552

faerieworld 1

Monday 7 November 2011 12:10

Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.

phoenixslayer69 4

Monday 7 November 2011 12:07

Run and hide!

Comments

Enslaved 36

Monday 7 November 2011 14:20

Serves you right, if you were a ****.

perdix 29

Monday 7 November 2011 14:22

I think it means she wants your **** to fertilize her eggs. ****-a-doodle-doo!

jaredofmo 22

Monday 7 November 2011 14:26

She's climbin' in your windows... Nothin' as scary as a mad momma...

godlike1 5

Monday 7 November 2011 14:30

RUN FOREST RUUUN

itsalyssabitch 1

Monday 7 November 2011 14:34

Doesn't sound painful at all! :D

shellzy 20

Monday 7 November 2011 14:35

Goodness she's really protective of her gum isn't she?

Matt1989 3

Monday 7 November 2011 14:39

hhaha. record that shit for records for when you dissapear

lmaoatall 6

Monday 7 November 2011 14:47

Listen foghorn, tell her to stop her damn cackling and lay that egg already and get to the point. If she wants to fight, just remember, you got a bigger pecker than hers. May the best **** win!

lmaoatall 6

Monday 7 November 2011 14:54

Is it just me, or did anybody else just picture Peter fighting that gianyellow chicken on family guy?

tazboi07 0

Monday 7 November 2011 14:49

Ouch it's kinda of a funny threat

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 November 2011 14:56

You have to see this from the mother's point of view. She's just protecting her brood. I will rabidly protect my children to the death once they get old enough to date. I will make it a point to inform all of my daughter's future potential dates that I have a scalpel, lidocaine, and an intimate knowledge of the male anatomy.