Intimacy: Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy...

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 37

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Top comments

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Thursday 17 June 2010 16:14

Get revenge. **** in his milk.

DarkHelmet 10

Thursday 17 June 2010 16:09

that deserves an ass whoopin!!

Comments

albert17 0

Friday 18 June 2010 0:35

keep yo hands off my mama keep yo hands off my doritos

a_luta_continua 2

Friday 18 June 2010 0:44

Now that's classy.

romaz 0

Friday 18 June 2010 1:05

# 79- ROLFMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! XD i can't stop laughing at your comment LOL HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! omg, best comment EVER! XDXDXDXDXD

jonny2x4 0

Friday 18 June 2010 1:24

Who buys Playboys nowadays? I haven't bought a porno in almost ten years.

carriedaway02 0

Friday 18 June 2010 1:27

I just threw up a little.

alexdear1029_fml_fml 0

Friday 18 June 2010 1:50

ewww that's so gross!

hahapwnd010 0

Friday 18 June 2010 2:38

who beats it with a condom?

VampireBam 0

Friday 18 June 2010 3:17

tee hee. he just made those doritos taste better ;P jk

Tianabear 0

Friday 18 June 2010 3:55

Man I would dump the whole bag on his head.

Kristen_Nichole 0

Friday 18 June 2010 3:56

A jerk off station? I'm curious...lol. What atmosphere makes a great jerk off station?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

The Top

Today, I have never once been to the most popular club in our city, because the head bouncer is my high school bully and he’s still such a prick he won’t let me inside, and this does include him picking me up in my best clubbing clothes and throwing me into a puddle on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 170

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 568

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 110

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 267

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 964

You deserved it 2 588

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 705

You deserved it 5 234