Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm...

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 16:39 - United States

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 072

You deserved it 44 855

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Same thing different taste

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 711

By Thefaller - 11/07/2019 16:00

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 882

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 76 928

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 674

You deserved it 8 845

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 2 363

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 984

Gross, dudes!

By notsick - 17/03/2019 22:00

Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 214

Sobering

By Anonymous - 23/02/2022 02:59

Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 939

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 023

You deserved it 115 227

Hisoka_fml 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 22:42

Epic fail. Noob.

itsmeppl 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:16

uhhhh, ur profile pic was taken in front of a toilet!....

Comments

gottrythis 0

Friday 8 October 2010 0:14

I just hope you room-mate keeps you up all night making puking noise for the rest of the year... better hope these girls dont have a big mouth or hope you had a lot to drink before. I have so many nicknames i call you what your frist name so i can list a few hahahahah

bigbadtim 7

Friday 8 October 2010 0:27

You did leave an impression. I'm sure they won't forget you anytime soon.

raydee 0

Friday 8 October 2010 0:29

U MUST NOT BE A DRINKER AT ALL THREE BEERS ISN'T SHIT AN I TAKE IT THE CHICKS LEFT WITH UR BUDDY HAHAHAHA

Onlyatmvah 0

Friday 8 October 2010 0:53

mmmmmm... that's why hot cheetos and beer don't mix!!!

adorkable_spazz 0

Friday 8 October 2010 0:57

haha dumbass

iRyanJr 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:02

YDI for being a women, and unable to drink 3 beers in under 2 mins.

20waffleater10 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:06

Why don't some comments show up.....very annoying, this site has a lot of problems but ehh I still like it.

succubusprime 0

Friday 8 October 2010 3:43

cool story, bro.

evilcartman 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:16

douche

schalk 12

Friday 8 October 2010 1:31

OP you know how it reads on the can "drink responsibly"? Pretty much the same reason a screwdriver set's warning reads "do not insert into penis" (I promise you I've seen that) or drain cleaner has a warning not to eat it.