Roommate, Cops and Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing,...

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 6 347

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 256

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 2 945

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 368

Friendly fire

By Davios - 24/09/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 2 354

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 113

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 007

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 946

You deserved it 20 204

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:10

I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.

gonzaval 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:15

you should ask her/him before doing something like that.

Comments

Midnightfligh 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:49

Time to get a new roomate I think.

Grand_Cookie 21

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:12

holy shit.

Quiet_one 22

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:21

I thought I had roommate issues, but holy crap! My roommate may be an arrogant b****, but at least she doesn't threaten to kill me! Get out of there!

turkeys_hen 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:51

the next step is you wont be allowed to go anywhere and you cannot date. been there. done that

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:38

This comment confuses me.

keilah 4

Sunday 13 March 2011 4:34

It's a reference to the fact that people with control issues usually continue to have control issues. If they think death threats are an appropriate response to furniture being moved, they definitely have control issues, and it's really not uncommon for that to become a seriously dangerous situation as they react badly to more and more things.

varkey 7

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:18

WTFFFFF get a new roommate FYL

SixDeuce 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:26

whatever happenned to just knocking someone the f*&k out... ragers and screamers are usually bitches, which is why they rage and scream, to give off a tough aura.. a badass snatches you up and tells you twice..