Roommate, Cops and Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing,...

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By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 588

You deserved it 6 349

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Same thing different taste

By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 257

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 326

You deserved it 2 945

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 745

You deserved it 3 369

Friendly fire

By Davios - 24/09/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 144

You deserved it 2 355

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 125

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 210

You deserved it 3 123

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 3 010

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 959

You deserved it 20 209

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:10

I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.

gonzaval 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:15

you should ask her/him before doing something like that.

Comments

techweed 12

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:38

put some pills in her morning coffee/milk/juice/tea ....... perhaps prozac

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 30 August 2013 23:09

You know a statistically relevant majority of all studies done on Prozac and a good number of other depression meds shows that they don't work, and can actually worsen depression Also, if whatever you're suggesting slipping into the drink is dangerous when mixed with certain things like alcohol, doibg so can potentially cause serious medical issues

techweed 12

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:42

and tell her to CALM THE F*CK DOWN

ulicksam 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:49

1. You don't just decide to move the common furniture around on your own when you have a roommate. 2. Why are you cowering in the corner if the police are there?

gogokira 5

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:26

I own all the common room furniture in the apt and I move it if I damn well feel like it.

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:58

Maybe next time you shouldn't MOVE THE DAMN FURNITURE!

AntoshaChekhonte 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 19:59

Oh yes, because we all should expected completely irrational behavior and reactions for moving some furniture around. It's totally a warranted response.

hmna 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 20:08

Is your roommate Charlie Sheen?

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 2 March 2011 20:16

...I doubt OP's roommate is blind.

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 2 March 2011 20:16

Doortje, your comment made me laugh because I know people that will go nuts if things don't follow the Feng Shui rules. I personally like using my window as part of my headboard. But it's a no-no according to them. (:

supertacowaffle 41

Wednesday 2 March 2011 20:16

Psycho roommate!

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 2 March 2011 20:19

I would have laid that punk mother ****** flat. No one ***** with me. But of course, I'm just being tough on the Internet to compensate for being a little bitch in real life. D: