Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom....

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By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 428

You deserved it 3 276

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Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 4 326

By Tressa95 - 25/02/2018 18:30 - United States - Belleville

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 686

You deserved it 306

Right place, wrong body

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 14:00

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 157

Right place, wrong person

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 05:01

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 147

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 928

You deserved it 6 023

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 139

By OMFG - 22/02/2010 10:13 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 918

You deserved it 2 087

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 700

You deserved it 3 461

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 019

You deserved it 30 886

By selfesteemboost - 27/01/2012 17:14 - Belize

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 114

You deserved it 3 130

wobbly1 16

Monday 16 February 2015 0:13

How long has she had a drinking problem?

MDoremis 38

Monday 16 February 2015 0:14

Who in their right mind does that?! Reading that made my own **** hurt. Geeze.

Comments

DocDrose 20

Monday 16 February 2015 0:16

What a bust...

martin8337 35

Monday 16 February 2015 0:17

I can't imagine how painful that must have been. I guess it'll feel better once it stops hurting:).

photographer49 22

Monday 16 February 2015 0:22

#13 I bet alot of things feel better after they stop hurting.

xChaos 29

Monday 16 February 2015 3:14

No shit

martin8337 35

Monday 16 February 2015 8:30

Guess some folks don't know about sarcasm.

onlychildFTW 33

Monday 16 February 2015 10:01

You can't claim sarcasm because of a bad post. We FMLers see right through that.

tbro47 23

Monday 16 February 2015 19:17

It's like saying my phone was in the last place I looked.

oathkeeper99 31

Monday 16 February 2015 0:20

Her nipple or the actual fleshy part of her boob? Nipple would make at least a little sense... Still stupid.

drayloon 50

Monday 16 February 2015 0:38

Who the hell pierces the fleshy part of their boob?

awkwarddebater 12

Monday 16 February 2015 0:45

Probably the same type of people that pierce their nipple with a random needle.

superwhovian 16

Monday 16 February 2015 0:51

oathkeeper99 31

Tuesday 17 February 2015 11:31

OP stated she was piercing her tit, not her nipple. And there are some pretty weird surface piercings out there, if she was that drunk it wouldn't surprise me that much if she had tried to pierce the fleshy part.

kewpiesuicide 29

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:23

If you can pinch it, you can pierce it

CheeseTacos 9

Monday 16 February 2015 0:21

You know, out of all the things I would have guessed…

trellz17 19

Monday 16 February 2015 0:21

I laughed so hard at this.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 16 February 2015 0:24

No ice...

flopstar 21

Monday 16 February 2015 0:24

Roommate stories are always the best. But sorry op start playing your music loud so you don't have to hear that shit going on.

newzealand 28

Monday 16 February 2015 0:58

You'd hope this was a once off occurrence. But OPs roommate does sound a few sandwiches short of a picnic

cj75 18

Monday 16 February 2015 11:28

#36 OPs roommate sounds like she has no food at that picnic. she is a basket brain

Aspirax 13

Monday 16 February 2015 0:29

And what's this have to do with you?

tasha_rom 4

Monday 16 February 2015 0:34

As someone with pierced nipples, lemme just say, NOOOOOOO!!!!

taybear0 14

Monday 16 February 2015 1:07

Right! I've of people piercing their own nipples, but had the proper instruments to do so. and im assuming OPs roommate used a normal needle that would be too small for actual nipple rings.