Kids: Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider...

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 2 484

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By spiderfail - 03/07/2012 08:03 - United States - Erie

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 530

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 417

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 656

You deserved it 27 017

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 037

You deserved it 4 691

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 5 875

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 046

You deserved it 7 061

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 116

You deserved it 3 832

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 104

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 3 444

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 161

mellyski 25

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:17

There's no future in superheroes these days, he should aim to be a web designer.

anonymuse_fml 31

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:14

I think he missed the part about it needing to be radioactive.

Comments

aeryn97 17

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:26

well be thankful you don't live here in Australia. if it had been a red back...things would have been a lot worse.

Vlen_fml 20

Saturday 6 February 2016 4:13

it actually doesn't really matter where they are, just about everywhere has lethal spiders, especially the American southwest, we may not have the variety of Australia but we have about the same quality of poison.

aeryn97 17

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:27

I just said the same thing before reading your comment. definitely agree

NightOWL666 14

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:32

That sounds terrible, but sounds like he'll be ok. Good thing he didn't go to the top of a building and try to fly like Superman

cheshireau 26

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:38

It's ridiculous the insects and reptiles wanting to kill Is here. I'm surprised there isn't a sort of radioactive spider to add to it.

LyricaSilvan 29

Thursday 4 February 2016 14:18

By "let it" I assume you mean "provoked it into." Spiders rarely bite unless you bother them.

penguinpinz 8

Thursday 4 February 2016 15:00

Did it work? My friend wants to know.

sailorarctic 22

Thursday 4 February 2016 15:19

Hope it wasn't a golden orb weaver, black widow or brown recluse. let us know op.

Vlen_fml 20

Saturday 6 February 2016 4:15

Recluse bites are especially nasty if they're untreated for too long, my mother got bit on the leg years ago and the scaring from necrosis is still quite noticeable.