Kids: Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider...

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 2 484

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Same thing different taste

By spiderfail - 03/07/2012 08:03 - United States - Erie

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 530

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 417

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 656

You deserved it 27 017

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 037

You deserved it 4 691

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 5 875

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 046

You deserved it 7 061

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 116

You deserved it 3 832

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 104

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 3 444

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 161

mellyski 25

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:17

There's no future in superheroes these days, he should aim to be a web designer.

anonymuse_fml 31

Thursday 4 February 2016 11:14

I think he missed the part about it needing to be radioactive.

Comments

Death69 24

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

pedinhuh 23

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:37

What Trump has to do with anything here?

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 4 February 2016 16:11

Nothing, some people just let politics ruin their lives.

moocowmilk0 19

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:13

it was at this moment that your son had his childhood ruined forever

SookyLala 13

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:15

thats a bad ass kid you got there. guide him away from being a psycho and he'll push through anything lol.. even as little kids they should be afraid of pain.. that's awesome lol

Evil_Jester 17

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:27

Dedication right there!

revolvearoundme 15

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:37

That was the first thing I thought, whew he's not in Australia he's going to live.

gordjess1 19

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:44

Umm I suppose you could say that's dedication... Kinda like when kids believe they can fly and jump from up high. Luckily he's fine though that could've ended worse.

AviShtap 20

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:49

Yeah...I'd keep him away from other superhero origin stories. Or else his next destination would be a nuclear power plant. :(

lukian_fml 29

Thursday 4 February 2016 12:53

I don't know about the US, but choosing the biggest spider would be beneficial in Australia, the tiny ones are the most dangerous!

grumblebum 16

Thursday 4 February 2016 14:19

Funnelwebs aren't so tiny.

FSGInsainity 15

Friday 5 February 2016 1:55

Are you Australian? If not, leave it to the psychos who willingly live there. And this is coming from an American.

FSGInsainity 15

Friday 5 February 2016 2:00

Are you Australian? If not, leave it to the psychos who willingly live there. And this is coming from an American.

jeffreorama 11

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:09

Did he leave with superpowers?

guttedbrit 26

Thursday 4 February 2016 13:09

No word of a lie, I wanted to be spiderman as a kid. Mary Jane? Nah, spiderman. But I have the biggest fear of spiders. Your son is very brave. I hope he gets better soon! :)