Miscellaneous: Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She... - FML

By Help. - 29/09/2011 17:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 510

You deserved it 3 182

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 21:41 - United States - Romulus

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 535

You deserved it 3 590

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 44 965

Guns don't kill people, rappers do

By guns save lives, so does gun safety - 03/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 282

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 247

You deserved it 2 951

By dead man walking? - 04/10/2015 13:21 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 738

You deserved it 2 214

By Munch - 12/09/2017 04:00 - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 902

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 216

You deserved it 109 352

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 339

You deserved it 3 454

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 4 444

By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 6 092

Next

Top comments

TheCRBrown 8

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:52

Good luck!

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:53

I would sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow. Just in case.

Comments

DDpandaz 0

Friday 30 September 2011 2:23

Go get an automatic on Tuesday

WolfAttac 0

Friday 30 September 2011 2:32

Lol number 83 is black marketing

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 30 September 2011 2:42

It's called supply and demand. But thank's, want one...

InjuryMagnet 9

Friday 30 September 2011 2:35

Get a bulletproof jacket. Or giant furnace plate like Marty Mcfly. Or whatever the hell it was. Eh, if you can't get either, You should move. Definitely. xD

pfizzle16 0

Friday 30 September 2011 3:02

Shoot her

thirteendgk 1

Friday 30 September 2011 3:08

have fun ?

yoshivar2002 0

Friday 30 September 2011 3:09

You can't hunt in the kitchen.

JokinglySerious 0

Friday 30 September 2011 3:13

Since when can girls have guns?

smartman136 8

Friday 30 September 2011 3:21

Why are people afraud of guns? If shes just violent i doubt she will shoot you " just because". You will survive. Trust me. I currently have 3 guns, 2 bows, a crossbow and 40 knives in my room within reach. I also listen to a lot of death metal and ive been in tons of mosh pits and an insane ammount of fights. Does this make me violent? Shut up and deal with it and stop whining because yoir scared.

AmericanGal21 11

Friday 30 September 2011 3:23

Why is this an FML...if it were like "she told me she wants to kill me" I'd understand that...

MEXIKANO 0

Friday 30 September 2011 3:25

And that's y I sleep with a knife

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The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 2 517

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 322

You deserved it 5 779

Today, after having my Apple Watch for a year, it asked me something it has never asked me before. As I began my hike around a lake, 10 minutes in, it asked if I was starting to workout. I hit yes, and it then congratulated me on my very first workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 735

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 24 484

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 117

You deserved it 53 938

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 7 115

Today, when I left for work, my girlfriend had gorgeous, very long (down to her hips), dark red hair. When I came home from work, her head was shaved. I asked her why she did it, and all she said was, "I just got tired of taking care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 359