Miscellaneous: Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She... - FML

By Help. - 29/09/2011 17:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 510

You deserved it 3 182

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 21:41 - United States - Romulus

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 535

You deserved it 3 590

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 44 965

Guns don't kill people, rappers do

By guns save lives, so does gun safety - 03/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 282

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 247

You deserved it 2 951

By dead man walking? - 04/10/2015 13:21 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 738

You deserved it 2 214

By Munch - 12/09/2017 04:00 - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 902

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 216

You deserved it 109 352

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 339

You deserved it 3 454

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 4 444

By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 6 092

Next

Top comments

TheCRBrown 8

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:52

Good luck!

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:53

I would sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow. Just in case.

Comments

morejuana 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:39

Ahahahahahaha #61 good one

A100893 30

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:42

Pack your bags and book it while she's picking the gun up on Wednesday.

SlenderMan_fml 6

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:47

15 ironically i was listening to Run Away by The Real McCoy as I read this.

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:47

Remove the firing pin.

fatalwish 6

Thursday 29 September 2011 23:54

Kevlar dosent stop rifle rounds they fire at slightly higher fps well actually about triple the fps of of a 9mm which you are lucky if kev stops that best thing to do would be 1 not be a bitch/dick to her and or remove the fireing pin and lock it into a safe or just another room but hey nothing works as well as preventative maintainance in this situation try being nice maby he/she will be less violent

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 30 September 2011 0:01

Bolt-actions? PPPPFFFFTTT, unless he/she can load the round into the chamber fast, then you're ****. But dont worry, my uncle (doesnt live in the usa) carries various automatic weaponry, and military-grade weapons. Put the weapons you want an i'll ship 'em to you. Anything happens, tell your (i'm assuming) "trigger-happy" violent roomate, 'hasta la vista, baby'.

devilboy1234 0

Friday 30 September 2011 0:10

Dude I think u best to get out of there

vbmg152 18

Friday 30 September 2011 0:12

You better move on Tuesday!!!

boredblonde 17

Friday 30 September 2011 0:18

shoot her first?

bkkingkeokuk 1

Friday 30 September 2011 0:22

Well atleast it only 1 shot at a time gives u alittle time to run fyl tho

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Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 432

You deserved it 10 094

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I agree, your life sucks 15

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The Top

Today, my mother refuses to believe I’m gay because I’m too handsome. Apparently only really ugly men can be gay, because they’re too ugly to get women, and choose to date other ugly guys instead. I can’t believe I came out of that bigoted, racist, scumbucket's womb. The thought makes me sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 423

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 777

You deserved it 3 244

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 352

You deserved it 2 957

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I said yes and started gushing over the wedding, buying a house, having kids… He was smiling up until I mentioned kids. One discussion, followed by one blazing row later, he left with the ring, his clothes, and his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 417

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988

You deserved it 6 310

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 680

You deserved it 4 334