Love: Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same...

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 5 732

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Same thing different taste

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 367

You deserved it 3 736

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 2 179

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 160

You deserved it 7 426

By cjgreer70 - 18/01/2014 23:09 - United States - West Linn

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 4 651

By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 12 831

By caaarl - 19/04/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 6 541

By 123alleyesonme - 02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 5 104

By srloin - 21/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 3 462

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 685

trollsemen 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:08

Where's the mammoth then?

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:10

PINECONE!

Comments

mandyville 8

Monday 5 September 2011 3:53

So you're like, the cutest person ever!?

jacobwise09 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:41

Tell her she's like manny!!

amazingfreak4 2

Sunday 25 March 2012 0:42

I thought big feet were a good thing? No.

bandnerd319 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:12

sids the best character ... he's funny, cute, and stupid

ohjoy15 33

Sunday 26 August 2012 0:48

I always thought the sloth was cute. Take it as a compliment OP.

amisenho 11

Tuesday 23 April 2013 21:45

Same speech impediment? Same crippling insecurities about relationships? Same dysfunctional family that leaves you at the mercy of the elements? You can't be THAT bad.

Countryboy_1994 5

Saturday 18 May 2013 5:15

Ouch

yankesik 16

Friday 23 October 2015 10:00

You must have a great personality :D

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The Top

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my mom and I went to visit my Dad to wish him happy birthday. I was at a red light, waiting to make a left-hand turn into the only driveway, and once the light turned green, I was unable to go, because another car was coming out. Cars behind me were beeping. I was turning into the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 10 155

Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 726

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 70

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 3 809

Today, I overheard two classmates wondering who Joan of Arc was. They agreed among themselves that she had to be the wife of Noah. We're in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 734

You deserved it 1 109

Today, my relationship of over a decade ended very badly and suddenly. He asked for one last favor and I agreed… before realizing it meant I had to go to the church where we'd always planned to marry. Thanks for the final stake to the heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 185

Same thing different taste

Rare insults corner

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