Love: Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same...

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 5 732

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Same thing different taste

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 367

You deserved it 3 736

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 2 179

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 160

You deserved it 7 426

By cjgreer70 - 18/01/2014 23:09 - United States - West Linn

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 4 651

By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 12 831

By caaarl - 19/04/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 6 541

By 123alleyesonme - 02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 5 104

By srloin - 21/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 3 462

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 685

trollsemen 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:08

Where's the mammoth then?

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:10

PINECONE!

Comments

Lintu_26 23

Thursday 1 September 2011 15:44

Everyone loves Sid, and he get's the hot Sloth girls...so don't you worry :)

DomoLaDii 8

Thursday 1 September 2011 17:11

sid is awesome!!!! lolz.... he's funny

AuronDante 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 17:31

At least she didn't compare you to Sloth from The Goonies.

lilbeast0327 3

Thursday 1 September 2011 17:42

You know what they say about big feet tho right?....

ZielZone 4

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:17

Remind her that SHE was the one responsible for sleeping with a sloth, which brought you into this world!!

Niue 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:44

do you have the same lisp too?

trskln 1

Thursday 1 September 2011 20:09

What about the lisp ?? Do you have the lisp, too ???

Starchild2229 12

Thursday 1 September 2011 20:20

Soooooo does she like sloths? Like a lot? Lol

robo_thunder 13

Thursday 1 September 2011 20:36

Just be thankful she didn't say you're as annoying and useless as Sid.

wriptidez 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 23:55

we love u heck with her

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Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 480

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 766

The Top

Today, I'm constantly checking my emails to see if any of the jobs have got back to me, but nothing yet. There's this one place I really want to work at, and I've already sent a follow-up email for the job, and it's driving me crazy that I haven't heard anything. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 233

Today, I accidentally mistyped "one sec" as "one sex" in a group chat at work. I apologized and corrected myself immediately, but some bitch with too much free time was so offended that she reported me to HR anyway. I'm suspended while they look into it, and my girlfriend is convinced I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 97

Today, I came back home from a 3-month trip to see my boyfriend and his family. Leaving them was obviously very emotional, and to top it off as soon as I got home, I realized I'd left my antidepressants behind, and I now have the flu as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 149

Today, my truck got towed after being parked for ten minutes, even though wasn't in a no parking area. Now I have to pay 500 dollars to get it out of impound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 130

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 413

You deserved it 5 514

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 913

You deserved it 4 064

Same thing different taste

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