Love: Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same...

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 686

You deserved it 5 733

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 10 127

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 371

You deserved it 3 737

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 231

You deserved it 2 180

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 163

You deserved it 7 427

Check please!

By Claire - 10/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my date told me I have a smile that "reminds him of his grandma." Then he showed me a picture. I look exactly like her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 98

By cjgreer70 - 18/01/2014 23:09 - United States - West Linn

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 4 652

By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 017

You deserved it 12 835

By caaarl - 19/04/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 039

You deserved it 6 542

By 123alleyesonme - 02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 933

You deserved it 5 107

By srloin - 21/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 285

You deserved it 3 463

trollsemen 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:08

Where's the mammoth then?

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:10

PINECONE!

Comments

KayleighRenee 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:54

Oo that's sexy!;)

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:54

He'll yea

Pixxio_O 11

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:45

At least you have long eyelashes..?

emwil823 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:57

You think that's bad? I know a guy who literally EVERYONE calls Sid because that's who he looks like.

TrixER 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:30

I bet that guy I'd you :D

emwil823 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 23:25

Considering I'm female? Yeah, totally. Haha. He doesn't mind though. That's how he introduces himself. I thought he was lying when he told me his real name.

fancypac 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:59

Lol

daydreamer244 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:05

it sounds like your wife thinks she's funny.....

92910bg 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:06

I want som pictures.

imjuicygossip 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:14

Wat happened to just saying ugly?

Carissa0126 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:14

Maybe she was hoping you had his sense of humor, too.

astonmartin007 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:15

Tell your wife at least I'm famous

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:43

I'm like the squirrel, nuts about nuts. And i mean acorns, you dirty minded FMLers.

khaya 9

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:05

Just wait until she needs end of the world advice next year.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 145

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 304

You deserved it 41 323

The Top

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 877

You deserved it 2 785

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 641

You deserved it 3 380

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 312

You deserved it 4 582

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 348

You deserved it 7 307

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 134

You deserved it 3 823

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 381

You deserved it 2 577

Same thing different taste

Check please!

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