Love: Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same...

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 683

You deserved it 5 730

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Same thing different taste

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 125

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 367

You deserved it 3 735

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 225

You deserved it 2 178

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 160

You deserved it 7 426

By cjgreer70 - 18/01/2014 23:09 - United States - West Linn

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 4 651

By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 009

You deserved it 12 831

By caaarl - 19/04/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 032

You deserved it 6 540

By 123alleyesonme - 02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 927

You deserved it 5 103

By srloin - 21/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 3 462

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 711

You deserved it 680

trollsemen 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:08

Where's the mammoth then?

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:10

PINECONE!

Comments

bitchslapped22 14

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:06

But Sid is also a nice sloth and a great, loyal friend :D

azrael_xx 14

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:27

Sid's so lovable though :)

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 1 September 2011 1:10

Get your followers to chuck her into a volcano.

Revelation_fml 5

Thursday 1 September 2011 2:54

that's a compliment. Kudos to your wife for knowing her Disney. Personally, I'm going for Timone on The Lion King. Hakuna matata!

Jailbird408 4

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:25

You're going to get shot down for calling Ice Age a Disney film.

Sweet_Testicles 7

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:24

You know what big feet mean

dmeloccaro 5

Thursday 1 September 2011 4:15

Ouch. I really hope that she was kidding. That's hurtful to say to someone you love. Sorry OP. Like many others are saying though, at least Sid was awesome and funny and adorable!

newkidontheblock_fml 1

Thursday 1 September 2011 5:11

same lisp?

NorfolkDude 2

Thursday 1 September 2011 5:21

I guess your wife must be the mammoth.

Meowingtons500 18

Thursday 1 September 2011 5:35

At least she didnt compare your manhood to the mammoth. And sid is cute so its no big deal

yeakoolstorybro 6

Thursday 1 September 2011 7:27

dont mind me, Im just trying to get the "100 Kickass Comments" achievement.wouldnt be so hard if i had to wait EVERY 3O ******* SECONDS!!!

Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Tinder Dating Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

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Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 148

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 224

The Top

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 119

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 637

You deserved it 12 216

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 557

You deserved it 25 300

Today, I let my daughter dye her hair pink. I got an email from her school stating that the hair color violated the school dress code as it's “distracting,” and she will not be allowed to attend classes until she changes it. We do school over Zoom. Not sure how her hair distracts on a screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 330

Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 285

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 434

You deserved it 4 804

Same thing different taste

Rare insults corner

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