Intimacy: Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also... - FML

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 675

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Same thing different taste

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 352

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 3 485

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 744

You deserved it 7 175

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 317

You deserved it 13 876

New kink unlocked

By poopface82 - 02/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 549

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 942

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 837

You deserved it 8 000

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Spicy

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 262

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:25

Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!

Woodsy007 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.

Comments

dudehey 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:12

welll ****.

allilovee 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:20

cmon be supportive. so just live without sex for a few weeks while she's trying to change her life..

tjsomethin 9

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:33

She's just talking bullshit so she can **** your pet dog.

Awahso 25

Saturday 2 April 2011 11:29

Chedder bomb?

TheXTG8680 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:37

what state do you live in? how long ya been married? research divorce laws.

Wiggy_78 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:39

OMG tangos pic scares me

katiesnuggles 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:44

no one asked for your opinion

Bravo11 14

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:53

shaking my head. smh

xDancer101x 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:56

maybe she decided to give it up cause someone isn't good at it...

JenL_fml 7

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:00

Shame on you people suggesting and encouraging infidelity and divorce. His wife is only trying to improve her life. It's not a permanent drop. Jeeze, OP, suck it up and get over it. Make your right hand your best friend or something...

DynamicDave 11

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:01

Stop Making Heroin.

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The Top

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 535

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

The Top

Today, when calling out of work, I was told by my boss that I was "full of shit" before he hung up. I actually am. I haven't pooped in almost four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 737

You deserved it 631

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 74

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 5 812

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 047

You deserved it 55 249

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 125

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 586