Intimacy: Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also... - FML

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 675

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Same thing different taste

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 352

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 3 485

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 744

You deserved it 7 175

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 317

You deserved it 13 876

New kink unlocked

By poopface82 - 02/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 549

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 942

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 837

You deserved it 8 000

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Spicy

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 262

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:25

Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!

Woodsy007 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.

Comments

instnt1nfction 17

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:03

and women do...

impregnator 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:08

are aa pee eee her .... get it?

asdfghjklnicole 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:11

suck it up, princess.

chrisauh 4

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:42

**** you

TomFeltonFan 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:53

198, agreed.

soccer7777 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:19

I guess that sucks for you!

myfriend9191 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:20

what does op stand for?

birdman09 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:23

dude that means you must be that awesome in bed if she needs a smoke after

choirnerd9 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:23

Duh, fap.

MissBunny25 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:30

Orange Penis

TomFeltonFan 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:31

I thought it was more of opossum propaganda

anakaren_831 1

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:33

Old Pussy

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 2 217

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 142

You deserved it 1 806

Today, I found an old photo album in my Facebook account, which had pictures of previous hangouts with people I called friends at the time. I deleted it because they progressively cut ties with me over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 245

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 278

You deserved it 4 120

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 228

You deserved it 49 629

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 353

You deserved it 3 009